Waxing Gibbous

A Free Mind (A)

A thin cottony layer of Clouds veiled the sky, but they didn't look lasting.

The first thing I did was put my wet suit on, followed by my socks and a lite jacket. I decided to keep my rain jacket in my dry pack just in case.

Once I was downstairs, I fed Toby then joined my mom for breakfast. On the weekends, since there was more time, I had the time to eat more than just oats and fruit. Instead, this morning was a breakfast sandwich. A sesame bagel, egg, avocado and some sliced salmon.

"I would have helped" I replied as my mom handed me my plate.

She chuckled slightly "you cook a lot anyway, it's nice to be able to do the simple motherly things. Sometimes I wish you were still little and needed help to do everything."

"I'm still gonna need your help, maybe not as much but I'll always need you"

My mom smiled "yeah, well better eat up so we can get on the road."

The two of us ate breakfast in relative silence. Once that was done, I rinsed the dishes while my mom wrapped up some sandwiches for lunch. I grabbed some dehydrated fruit and jerky, before grabbing some sweet potato jerky for Toby. The plan for the day was for us to go to one of the campgrounds and then get into the Calawah river, kayak to a public access for lunch then turn around. Thankfully the river didn't have too much of a current so we could easily go either direction.

There was also hiking trails along the river so that if we needed to get off the river it would be easy.

"all set?" my mom asked as she returned to the kitchen, her bag in her hands.

"yep, just need to get the life jackets and the kayaks"

With that my mom and I entered the garage to grab the rest of the gear. And we started our journey. The drive was peaceful, eventually we got out of the city and were surrounded by growing trees on both sides of the road.

Stepping out onto the dirt parking lot, we began getting everything out of the car. I let Toby run around because I wasn't worried about him running off and he already had on his vest.

We portaged our kayaks to the access point. "Come on toby" I call out to the dog whose focused on the new smells all around him. Once we get the kayaks to the river and everyone has their vests on, we push out into the water.

The water was a beautiful blue-green color that was just lazily floating along. It was so calm that we could have dropped our paddle and the river would have just floated us along. The sides of the river were surrounded by rock walls and towering green trees.

My mother and I float along looking at the scenery, Toby lays down happily on the front of the kayak and looks into the water. Thankfully he is a good dog, so I wasn't worried about him jumping in after a fish.

I paddled slowly through the cold water my mind at ease. No haunting red eyes, no thoughts about the Cullens or Bella. It was peace.

It took all morning to reach the campground where we would stop for lunch, and the sun was beginning to peak out from the curtain of trees. We laid out a blanket and began eating in a small grassy meadow, just a few feet away from the picnic tables.

Toby ran around smelling everything. The wind was gentle; it tangled my hair and ruffled the grass that swayed around us. The sunlight danced on our skin.

It was so peaceful, it reminded me of the times I spent with my dad.

"what's going on in your head over there?"

I bit my lip "I was just thinking about dad. And how we used to do stuff like this. Sometimes I wonder what he would think of who I grew up to be"

"your dad would be so proud of you, and I know if he had a choice he would still be here. You're still his little Leonardo."

I chuckled slightly "it's okay, I still have you and aunt Eve and Billy."

"what about Sam? You haven't seen him in a while, have you?"

I shook my head "no, I don't know what's wrong, but I know it has to be something for him to avoid me or Leah. Allison keeps saying he's sick so, who knows."

"I'm sure everything will work out. Before you know it, he'll be back around and the two of you will be thick as thieves."

"yeah, he just needs some time"

"are you sure you'll be okay alone tomorrow?" my mom asked.

"yeah, Toby and I will be okay. We'll go for a hike in the morning and then we'll hang out at home. I'll probably start my project"

"Will you need anything else for that?" my mom asked as she stood up.

I thought about the project in my head. "I think just a grinder and some wood glue. But I could get all that at the hardware store"

"Well, you still have some time before you need to get started. A little over 6 weeks, right?"

"yeah, we should be starting the planning this week and then get everything and then start building it. We get much longer because she wants it to be more in depth. Or using more complex techniques."

"I'm sure yours will look amazing like the rest of your projects do"

"yeah" I replied as I got my kayak into the water "but I want to use items I can find, so that it's not better than everyone else's because I can buy the equipment but because I worked harder."

I could see the smile on my mom's face "well, I just hope you start using that driftwood that you've accumulated off to the side of the house" I let out a laugh as I situated Toby and began paddling back up the river.

"I'll probably make a few attempts just to figure out how to do it"

"sounds like a long few weeks. Just make sure not to let your grades slip"

"I won't" I said as I paddled after her.

We reached the car just before the sun set, orange hues floated on the rivers surface creating a sea of colors. On the way home, we stopped and picked up some food from the diner, there was talks of school and work, though I knew my mom was holding something back. I assumed it meant something was happening, but she didn't want me to know about.

Then again there were things I was keeping from her, like the fact that she's working with a Vampire, that a group of them lived in Forks and I went to school with nearly all of them. Or the fact that Bella was dating one and the only way for her to really have a relationship with him would be to turn into a vampire. That I was irrevocably falling in love with a vampire though I wasn't sure why. We haven't had a single conversation, but I would do anything to keep her safe.

The usual teenage drama.

When we got home, I eagerly finished my food so that I could go to sleep. The events of the day really did a good job of wearing me out, both mentally and physically.

Well, I suppose it didn't wear me out mentally, just allowed my brain the opportunity to relax long enough for me to realize how overwhelming all my thoughts had been. And for the first time since Bella arrived, I sleep through the night without a dream or nightmare.

It was just silence and darkness. It was peace. If I had Known this would be my last peaceful sleep, I would have savored it.