Cold All the Way Through, But Warming

The Morning Session

The carriage rattled over the streets toward the Waldorf-Astoria, the horses nimbly finding their way through gaps between autos and delivery carts. My view was blurred slightly, the black crepe veil hanging over the brim of my hat obscuring my vision. Peggy, already angry about Will spending the night by me, had put her foot down. I was in mourning, I would wear the veil and black dresses until the official period of mourning, six months, was over. Three months in crepe, and three months in half mourning. I bargained her down to full mourning at least in public, and somber dresses at home. I was drowning in crepe already, the last thing I wanted was to have it follow me home. I flicked the veil up over the brim, freeing my eyes. I gave a smile to Moody, sitting across from me. "Were you all able to send word home on the Carpathia?"

He nodded, "Yes, and we let them know where to find us."

"I'll have them keep an eye out for telegrams at the house then." I took a breath, smoothing my hands over my black silk skirt. Not that I could feel it through the black kid gloves that I wore. It seemed all I was now was black clothing and a pale, powdered face. At least it was better than the officers, who had to make do with some donated suits that fit poorly. The maids had arranged for mourning bands for them though, and promised to have fitted clothing for them when they got back.

True to his word Abe had sent Ezekiel over, but with all the hurry about the house to get us out and the shopping done, he had been woefully out of place amid the bustle. Instead I sent him off to our offices with instructions to learn which of our ships were departing Southampton soon, and with a Marconigram from Will for the girl who cared for his house. It instructed her to entrust the picture of Ada to our captain, and there was a Marconigram from me for whichever captain was there to see that he cared for that picture as if it was a chest of jewels and it was to be given over to my hands only. Ezekiel had promised to see to everything, and had gratefully made his exit before all of us had loaded up to head out for the inquiry.

Will tugged at the collar of his shirt, too tight by far but it was the only donated one that fit him relatively well everywhere else. The officer on the whole looked rather shabby, having to make do with whatever they could fit into. Their clothing had been taken to be laundered, and the maids had assured me that they would have everything waiting for them, including new trunks for whenever they went back to England. Will shifted again, pulling at the cuffs now. "Be glad when this is done."

Charles looked over, his hand resting on the windowsill. "I think we all will be, back out on the sea where we belong." I kept quiet at that, part of me was still terrified of Will leaving. That fear had expanded to the other officers, they had been a distraction for me, a group of men with nothing. To me, it seemed the only thing to do, to take care of them as if they were family. When I worried about them, I didn't have to worry about myself or the future. I only had to focus on the fact that Charles's trousers were two inches short and James had a coat two sizes to big on, the shoulders drooping.

"You'll have to enjoy it for me then." Will's voice was bitter, the carriage slowing down as we approached the Waldorf-Astoria. A large crowd had gathered, and the horses had to pick their way through, the coach driver even threatening with his whip a couple times to clear out people from in front. I was looking out the window, then jumped slightly when a man pressed his face to the glass before the coach moved on.

"Christ Will, come off it. You did all you could." Charles said, any response cut off by the carriage stopping. A bellboy in the uniform of the Waldorf-Astoria opened the door, and Charles got out. Will stepped through, then handed me down. Even more reporters were gathered around, and some of them actually surged towards us before another bellboy intercepted them. I couldn't help the way I clung to Will, it seemed everyone was pressing in and shouting. All I wanted was to get away. Fortunately, inside the hotel everything seemed crowded but calmer, the other officers the only faces I recognized at first.