Cold All the Way Through, But Warming

The Wave Breaks

Everyone seemed on edge in Newport, and the trains carrying papers up from New York were mobbed as soon as they stopped, people desperate to read anything about what was happening in Europe. Of course, I wasn't mobbing them. In fact, I was doing my level best to ignore everything, and we had stopped attending parties since it seemed like it was all anyone could talk about. I couldn't stand to hear everyone talking and speculating about a war, it made my stomach twist and left me feeling ill for the next day.

But then Oscar showed up on the porch, a rolled up paper under his arm.

"Anastasia," He spoke softly once we had all gathered in the rear parlor, even reaching over to take my hand. "I wanted you to see this from a friend, here." He handed over the paper, the day's Times, and I felt my stomach drop. Plastered all over the front page were articles about countries mobilizing for war in Europe. "There hasn't been anything about the Reserves, so I'm hopeful that maybe-"

But I didn't hear the next part, for I had turned to Will and clasped my hands around his head, my voice a hiss. "You aren't going!"

"Ana," He reached up, trying to dislodge my hands. "We can discuss this later."

"No!" I yelled, my heart hammering. "No, you're staying here. You're not going."

I could barely hear Mother, "Oscar, perhaps it would be best if you left."

"Ruth, I just wanted to-"

"I know, but you need to leave." Her voice was firm, but my breath was coming faster and faster. All I could see was Will gone, dead in the water, not even a body to bury just like Father and I could feel my heart in my throat. I stood, trying to draw in enough breath to tell Will that he was staying, that it was foolish for him to leave, he could resign from the Reserves, I wouldn't care. No one would think less of him, we could stay here where there wasn't any war.

But then I swayed, my vision blurred, and my knees gave out.

When I came to I wasn't surprised to find myself back in my bed, the curtains drawn over the windows to shade the room. I also wasn't surprised to find Will sitting in a chair next to me, his brow furrowed and the paper in his hand. Once he saw I was awake though, he put it aside and reached for my hand. "Ana, are you alright?"

"No." I shook my head, "I'm not."

"You knew this could happen." He moved his chair closer, his eyes soft. "We both did."

"And you told me not to think about it. You said that it wasn't going to happen." I was trying to not sound like a petulant child, but wasn't succeeding.

He sighed, "I was wrong. But I only said that because you would make yourself sick with worry."

"As if I won't now," I snapped, pulling my hand away. "You're not going."

"I may not have a choice." He looked at my hand, his expression wounded. "I may have to go Ana, and you will have to let me."

I closed my eyes, trying to fight down the sob in my throat at that. "Why? Why do you have to go? You can resign and stay here, stay with me! Isn't that better?"

"It's my home." Will stood, pursing his lips. "And you are not my only family. Would you have me leave Da and Peg and Sam to the Kaiser's mercy? Or what about Lights and Sylvie? You know he's going to be going, and she's in the same boat as you. Roger, Trevor, Mavis, you think they won't suffer from this?"

I sat up in the bed, "They could come here, your family and Lights and Sylvie, with the boys and Mavis. I could pay for it, Will, please."

"You can't solve everything with money." His voice was harsh, and he began pacing around the room. "Ana, you know I don't want to leave."