It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 21

December 16, 1991

I woke up and saw that no one was in the bed with me. 

"The fuck?" I muttered. 

I brushed my teeth quickly, brushed my hair, put it in a bun, then walked out and saw Kurt making food. 

"Your mom and dad took Lorelai out to the store," He explained. 

"Alright."

"Do your parents hate me?"

"Yeah."

"No sugarcoating it?"

"Nope. You deserve it."

"Don't be mean."

"Sorry. Um, Dave and Krist are coming-"

"HELLO!" Krist slammed open the door. "THE PARTY PEOPLE HAVE ARRIVED!"

I looked in their direction and saw Dave standing there awkwardly. I walked over to him and hugged him. 

"I love you," I told him. 

"I love you, too," He hugged me tighter. 

"Dave, if someone cheats on me, please tell me."

"I know, and I'm so sorry for not telling you. I'll tell you next time."

"There won't be a next time," I hoped. 

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Kurt and I sat awkwardly on the other end of the couch while everyone else conversed. My parents did not like him one bit. After they saw what he did to me, they wanted him out of my life, but I wanted him to stay. They wouldn't tell me to break up with him, but they highly suggested it. I would've felt the same way if someone cheated on Lorelai. 

I just wanted Kurt to stay with me, though. I wanted to stay with Kurt. 

I rested my head on his shoulder nuzzled myself into him. I laid my head down on his lap and closed my eyes. 

I was so fucking tired. I hadn't had a good night of sleep in over a week. 

"What time is it?" I asked my parents. 

"It's eight," My mom said. 

"Shit," I shot up and saw that Lorelai was already ready for bed. "Say 'goodnight' to everyone, Lorelai."

"No!" She said. 

"Excuse me?"

"No!"

"Lorelai, say 'goodnight.'"

"No."

I got up, picked her up, and took her into her room. She kicked and screamed in my ear and I slammed the door and put her in her bed. 

She ran out of the bedroom and I groaned. I ran out, grabbed her yet again, and did the same thing except this time, I locked the door. 

"Lorelai!" I yelled. "Go lay down on your bed!"

She started screaming and crying. "I'm not tired!"

"Lorelai, go lay down."

"NO!"

I cupped my hand over her mouth. "Absolutely not-we have neighbors. Go to bed, Lorelai."

"NO!"

I picked her up, put her in her bed, ran out of the bedroom, and held the door handle. She started pulling on it, trying to open up the door, but ended up screaming yet again. 

I shut my eyes and tried to block out her crying, but I couldn't. I hated hearing her crying, but she was overly tired-she needed to go to sleep. 

"MOMMY!" She shrieked. "MOMMY! PLEASE! MOMMMMMY!"

I opened back up the door and stared at her. "Do you want me to lay down by you?"

She nodded her head. I kneeled down on the floor and wiped her tears. I picked her up, and we went in her bed. She face the opposite way of me and I tickled her back softly while singing to her. 

Her favorite song off of "Nevermind" was "Something in the Way", so I started singing that. 

"Mommy-"

"Shh," I cut her off and continued to sing. 

Before I knew it, she was sleep. I kissed her forehead and walked out of the room. 

"What's up her ass?" Krist asked. 

"Krist, that's my fucking daughter," I snapped at him. "She's overly tired."

"So are you," Kurt stood up. "Come on."

"What?"

"Come on," He pushed me into my room and started taking off my clothes. 

"What are you doing?!"

He walked away, leaving me in my bra and underwear. He put a shirt and pants on me. 

"Kurt, I'm not-"

He cut me off by kissing me. 

"Go to sleep, Ruby. I love you."

He walked away, leaving me alone in my bedroom. I laid down in my bed and shut my eyes-it was only eight. 

This was exactly how Lorelai felt. 

I chuckled and then heard the phone ring, so I answered it. 

"Hello?" I asked. 

"Is this Ruby?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Listen here, you bitch. I know where you fucking live and I will fucking kill you, do you understand me?"

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Kurt is mine, you fucking whore."

"That explains why he's with me right now."

"Fuck you."

She hung up the phone and I shook my head. Her voice sounded exactly like the girl who was on the T.V. 

I was too tired to deal with it-I would deal with it in the morning.