It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 139

April 1, 1994

Still no sign of Kurt. 

I had no idea where he was at and it worried me. 

I couldn't believe that they let him escape. I couldn't imagine seeing Kurt climb a fence and just leave. 

Where would he even go to? Was he going to go back home or was he going to go to Krist's or Dave's? No, he wouldn't have gone to them. Maybe he would be going to Thom's. 

I had no idea what to do. I felt stupid just sitting here on the bed in my hotel, but I felt like there was nothing to do. I didn't know if he was in California still or if he went back to Washington. Or if he even went to another fucking state. He could be in fucking Arizona. 

"Ruby, Dave called!" My mom shouted from the front room. 

If I had a nickel for everytime she's told me that, I would be filthy rich. I lazily got into the front room and snatched the phone from her grasp. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Kurt's in Seattle," Dave said. 

A smile spread across my face. 

We knew where he was. 

"How do you know?"

"Because he bought a plane ticket to go to Seattle."

"So he's there right now?"

"He's either there right now or he's on his way there. I don't know where he's going to be going to, though."

"Dave, maybe he'll be home! Go there, please! Our garage code is 5458. You and Krist and Pat need to go there now! Dave, oh my God! This is great news!"

I felt hopeful. We knew where Kurt was. He was probably going to be going to our house. I mean, where the fuck else would he go? If he was going to a friend's house, they would probably say something. 

"Wendy filed a missing person's report, not Krist, by the way."

"Wendy, of all people?" I scoffed. "I mean props to her."

"Be nice to her, Ruby. She's trying to fucking help."

"She doesn't need to help. I've got this under control."

"Oh yeah? Then where's your husband at, Ruby? Huh? Where the fuck is he?"

I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"We're helping, Ruby. We're all pitching in to find Kurt and you're getting mad because his mother filed a missing person's report?! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I never got mad-"

"You need to get your fucking shit together, Ruby. We're all going through a tough time, alright? But you taking it out on us is not making it any easier."

"How am I taking it out on you?!"

"You're just being-"

"Give me the phone, Dave," I heard Krist say. 

"Fine!" He shouted. 

"Hey," Krist said. 

"Hi," I said. 

"Sorry about Dave. He's not doing too well."

"I can tell. Are you okay?"

"I'm really worried, Ruby, but hey, at least we know where he's at."

"Yeah, at least we do."

"Dave's not doing okay with this, alright?"

"I know that."