It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 91

August 19, 1993

Today was one of the days where I just woke up and missed Kurt. I had a couple days that he was gone that I felt like that, but for the most part I was doing okay. Melissa and Lorelai really helped me, even though they didn't even realize it. They were the ones that pushed me to keep on going. 

I held the pillow that Kurt always used close to me. Right as I was about to close my eyes, Melissa started crying. 

I groaned, frustrated that I couldn't even take a nap. 

I went into her bedroom and froze when I saw a figure leaning over her bed. I thought about what to do and panicked. I just rushed over there and kicked them in their knees, causing them to bend backwards and fall onto the ground. I was about to step on their face when I heard them yell for me to stop. 

I stepped back and saw Kurt lying on the ground, smiling up at me. I screamed and laid down on top of him, hugging his body and sniffing him. 

"You're really here?!" I asked. 

"Why the fuck are you sniffing me?" He chuckled. 

"Daddy!" Lorelai ran over to Kurt and hugged him.

I grabbed Melissa out of her crib and she kicked her feet and hands and then hugged her father. It made me happy to see Kurt hugging his daughters. It felt right. I couldn't believe that it was actually happening. 

Melissa stood up as Kurt set her down and then Dave walked into the room with Krist, Shelli, and Jennifer behind him. 

Jennifer?!

"My goodness, you are all getting so big!" He crouched down and hugged Lorelai and crawled over to Melissa. 

I grabbed Kurt's and pulled him up, then ran into our bedroom, slamming the door behind us. He was right. His hair wasn't brown anymore. It was also much, much longer. 

"Ruby, what are you-"

I slammed him against the wall and kissed him. Hard. My hands roamed all over his body, touching ever single part of his skin they could. His hands did the same and stayed in my hair for a little while. 

I pulled away from him. 

"We can continue this later," I smirked and walked out of the bedroom into Melissa's bedroom. 

"You and Jennifer are still together?" I whispered in Dave's ear. 

"Yes," He smiled. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Go ahead and get ready, Ruby," Kurt placed his hand on my back. "We're going to go out."

"Right now?" I stood up straight. 

"Not unless you hurry. Come on, we're going to be late."

"Alright, alright."

"Here, I'll help you."

We both went into our bedroom, shutting and locking the doors behind us. He slammed me up against the wall and kissed my neck causing me to arch my back. 

"Kurt, we're going to be late," I giggled as I pulled my pants off. 

He kissed me. "Fine."

I took off my shirt and put on another shirt and jeans. I was wearing pajamas before, so I figured that wherever we were going required me to wear normal day clothes. 

And that's what I wore. 

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After getting back from dinner, everyone came back to our house. Kurt orchestrated things perfectly-Lorelai and Melissa would spend the night at my parent's house and Dave, Jennifer, Krist, and Shelli would come back our place. 

"How was it?" I asked Kurt as we sat down on the couch. 

"Oh, it was just absolutely splendid," He rolled his eyes. 

"You know, you always have a negative outlook on life," Krist said. 

I laid my feet on Kurt's lap. "Massage my feet."

"Excuse me?" He raised his eyebrows. 

"You heard me."

He massaged my feet as I rested my head against the couch. 

"I love you all so much," I randomly said. "Even you, Jennifer."

"Is that an insult?" Dave asked for her. 

"No, I was just-"

"I'm pressing your buttons, Ruby."

I smiled and stared at Dave for a while. Never would I have guessed in high school that this is where we would be when we were older. I would've pictured myself with Robert, of course, but even Dave being as famous as he would, I wouldn't have ever expected that. He deserved it and he worked hard to get where he was. Me? I just got lucky. 

"How was staying at home?" Krist asked me. 

"Oh, it was just absolutely splendid," I mocked Kurt. 

"Ha ha, very funny," Kurt stuck out his tongue at me. 

"I don't think you understand how happy I am now that you're back."

"He's just going to leave again," Krist added. 

"Did you have to say that?" Kurt snapped. "Did you have to fucking say that?"

"Hey, hey, calm down man!"

Drunk Kurt and Krist did not go very well together. Kurt was still very mellow when he was drunk, but Krist was like a different person. Not in a bad way, but he was much more...comfortable.

"You don't have to make everything so fucking mellow all the fucking time!" Kurt on the other hand over-exaggerated everything. 

"Kurt, calm down," I placed my hand on his shoulder and softly rubbed it after sitting beside him. 

"You're the one that was complaining the whole fucking time about how much you're going to miss your family and you're coming back just to fucking leave!"

"Hey, Krist, shut the fuck up," I yelled at him. 

"Oh really?" He stood up. 

Kurt stood up, too. "You better sit back the fuck down before you get anywhere near her."

Shelli stood up. "Let's go, Krist."

Shelli said bye as she dragged Krist out of the house. I locked the door behind them. 

"Kurt, are you okay?" I asked him. 

"I'm fine," He mumbled. 

"How about we go to bed? Your daughter's birthday is tomorrow. There's going to be a big party, remember?"

"A party?"

"Yeah, a party. Dave, help me take him upstairs."

We both grabbed one of his arms and put him in his bed. After Dave left the room, I took off Kurt's shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. I laid a blanket over him and kissed him on his lips. 

"Goodnight, Kurt."

"Ruby, stay with me," He croaked. 

"Alright, Kurt. I'll come right back."

By the time I came downstairs, Dave and Jennifer had fallen asleep on our couch. I grabbed a blanket and draped it over them and shut the lights off. I went back into our bedroom, took off my clothes besides my bra and underwear, and laid down next to Kurt. 

"Goodnight, Kurt," I kissed his forehead. "I love you."