It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 88

July 21, 1993

"We have to figure out a date, Kurt," I told him. "Like right now. I have some places that are willing to cater and I even have a venue that I like, but they need a date."

"Let's do next year in August."

"What date?"

"I don't know."

"How about the 28th?"

"Fine by me."

"Kurt, you can't be going out on tour anytime near then, okay?"

"Okay."

"And you liked the venue that we looked at?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Do you want to look at another one or no?"

"No, no. I like that one."

I sighed. "Are you agreeing with me just to agree?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Kurt!" I snapped. "You're not even listening to me."

"I'm sorry, Ruby. I just don't really find this stuff interesting."

"You don't find planning our wedding interesting?"

"We're already married."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you even want to do this?"

"Of course I do."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"Why do you say that?"

"You're writing in your notebook as I'm speaking to you, Kurt. This is our fucking future and you don't care at all."

"Ruby," He placed his notebook down on the coffee table and placed the pen on top of his ear. "Of course I care. Look, I put away the notebook and pen. Now let's talk about this."

"August 28, 1994," I smiled. "That's more than a year away, so we have time. I'll call everyone I know and tell them about it."

"Or we can make invitations like normal people."

"There you go! Alright, let's go get ready to take pictures."

I decided that I wanted to take some pictures as a family-Frances, Melissa, Lorelai, Kurt, and I-and post them on our wall or something. Most families did that, but we didn't really have any. It was going to be hard to get Frances and Melissa to sit still, but the pictures were going to turn out just fine. I knew it would.

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Melissa kicked me in the groin. I set her down on the ground after fighting with her for me to just fucking hold her. 

I was over it. 

Everyone was staring at us.

It wasn't just Melissa that wasn't listening; it was Frances, too. 

"Maybe they're hungry," Kurt muttered. 

"Maybe," I said. "I could go get something from the food court. Thank fucking God they didn't act like this while we were taking pictures." 

Kurt kept trying to grab Frances, but she kept crawling away. I grabbed her and helped Kurt buckle her up in the stroller as she screamed and hit us. 

"Mommy, Melissa's crawling away!" Lorelai yelled. 

I ran after Melissa as she started getting closer to the escalator. I picked her up very forcefully and put her in the stroller and buckled her up. Her and Frances were just screaming and crying.