It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 98

November 18, 1993

"You look amazing," I appeared behind Kurt and squeezed his hand lightly, then pulled away. 

He still hadn't touched me since I arrived in New York and that was yesterday. It really hurt me. I didn't even want to sleep in the same bed in fear that our skins would brush up against each other. I shouldn't feel like this. But, maybe something was going on with him that he wasn't comfortable telling me just yet. 

"You look better," He adjusted his sweater. 

He was wearing a Frightwig t-shirt with a grey sweater over it with jeans. This man was about to go onto MTV Unplugged and perform one of the best concerts ever and wasn't even remotely dressed up for it. 

I, on the other hand, was wearing a black dress that was strapless. Nothing too much. 

"Ready to go?" One of the managers asked us. 

Kurt nodded his head and we walked out of the hotel room and into the lobby. We waited for the car to pull up, and when it did, we saw numerous kids-probably teenagers-surrounding the front doors. 

I wonder how the fuck they found out that Kurt was here because Nirvana registered as names that weren't even theirs. 

They were shouting about how much they loved them and asked for autographs, but Kurt didn't give them any-we were in a rush. 

"Fuck you!" They shouted as we got into the car. 

"Might as well spit at 'em!" One of them shouted. 

Kurt rolled down the window and hawked a loogie at them and flipped them off as we drove away. 

"They're twelve, Kurt," I gently shoved him. 

"Teach them while they're still young."

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The show was about to start. 

"I have to go," I told Kurt. 

"You're sitting right in front of me, remember that."

"I will," I smiled. I wanted to give him a hug or a kiss or at least something, but I couldn't, and that caused me to tear up. 

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I have to go sit down."

I turned around to sit down in my seat and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him. He placed his hands on both sides of my face and kissed me. I let myself sink into him and kiss him back. 

The amount of happiness that came over my body was so captivating and addicting. I wanted to feel that way forever. I pulled myself harder into him to experience it more. 

He laced his fingers around my hair and brought his other hand down to my waist. 

He let go of me and smiled at me. 

"You haven't done that in forever," I said softly. 

"I know and I'm sorry."

I kissed him. "You're going to do great." I walked over to my assigned seat. 

"Aren't you excited?" Shelli gripped my hand and her leg started bouncing up and down uncontrollably. 

I nodded my head, staring at their stage. There were flowers everywhere and the lighting was dim. I heard someone talking about how it was funeral-themed. 

"Shit," I muttered and ran backstage again. I searched around for Dave and hugged him once I found him. "I am so proud of you; I hope you know that."

"Thanks, Ruby," He smiled.