It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 124

February 17, 1994

Thom had been coming over since the last day he came.

He made great company when I was feeling very lonely. 

Kurt did not like the idea of him being around so much without Kurt there. I had told Kurt over and over again that he was dating someone named Rachel. Rachel had come by the other day and I met her for the first time. She was very nice and she was a very pleasant person. I told Kurt that I met her and there was nothing to worry about.

It's not you I'm worried about, I remembered him telling me over the phone. 

I mean after all, he was the one that cheated. 

Thom was not coming by today. 

I was hanging out with Lorelai and Melissa downstairs-I was playing hide and seek. 

I decided to take Melissa with me into the laundry room and we hid behind the door. Whenever Lorelai would call out our names, Melissa would giggle. 

That was what gave away our cover. 

Lorelai had found us within two minutes. 

"Let me hide with Melissa this time!" She whined. 

"No whining," I told her. "Alright, I'm going to count to 100, okay?"

"Okay!" She grabbed Melissa's hand and ran away with her. 

Right as I was counting to 70, the doorbell had rung. 

I heard footsteps stamping down the stairs and I knew immediately that it was Lorelai getting ready to unlock the door. 

I ran to the front door before she could and opened it up to see James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett standing at my front doorstep. 

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped to the floor. 

"This is really happening," I slightly chuckled. "Oh my fucking God!"

"Hi, Kurt sent us here," Kirk said.

"Kurt?" My eyebrows furrowed. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know," James looked behind me. "Hello little one."

I turned around and saw Lorelai and Melissa hiding behind my leg. 

"Sorry about that," I chuckled, still in awe that my two heroes were literally standing outside my doorstep. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes," They both walked inside as Lorelai and Melissa went upstairs. 

I loved how much they were attached to each other. Despite the big age difference, Lorelai didn't seem to mind spending time with her. I never really knew how siblings worked, considering I never had one, so seeing my two girls with each other made me so happy. 

"Where's Kurt at?" Kirk asked. 

"He's in Europe touring right now," I replied as I sat down on the couch, and they followed suite. "So, what exactly did Kurt say?"

"He gave us a letter saying that he wanted us to stop by his house today," Kirk answered. "He gave us his address."

"I remember the last time I came by, it was your little's birthday," James smiled. 

"Yeah, she's turning two this year," I shook my head. "She's growing up way too fucking fast."

"She definitely looks like a mixture of you and Kurt," Kirk added. 

"Do you know Kurt personally?" I asked. 

"I mean, we've talked a couple of times, but we're not best buddies or anything."

"That's cool."

"How did you guys meet?"

"Through Dave-the drummer. Him and I were best friends in high school and one day he was in town and wanted to stop by, so he did, and Kurt and Krist happened to be with him."

"God, if you weren't married to him, I would've snagged you right up," James playfully punched my arm. 

I awkwardly chuckled. "Thanks?"

"How have you been doing lately?" Kirk asked. "I heard a while ago that you had a little accident?"

I glanced down at my arm, the scars still visible. I instinctively covered them up. 

"Yeah, it wasn't an accident," I felt embarrassed. "Wait, how did you find out?"

"It was just in the news."

"I swear to fucking God, they find out about everything," James exclaimed. "You could be taking a piss and they would know about it."

"Well, if the bathroom is occupied and you're in it, of course they would know," Kirk told him as if he was an idiot. 

I chuckled. "You guys act like your brothers."

"We might as well be," Kirk rolled his eyes. "I must say that you and Kurt make a good couple together."

"I don't know if 'good' is the right word," I muttered. 

"I heard that!" James pointed at me and laughed. "What, do you guys not get along or something?"

"We're just going through a rough patch right now," I explained. 

"Everything involved with Kurt is going through a rough patch right now."

"Not his kids."

"Tell that to Frances."

"It's because of her bitch-ass mother. But Frances is doing fine."

"You hate Courtney?"

"Why wouldn't she?" Kirk asked. 

"I don't know! Maybe they're best friends or something."

"Fuck no," I sneezed. "Excuse me. But, I fucking hate her."

"She probably hates you, too," James winked at me. 

"She's jealous," Kirk added. "She obviously wanted Kurt. You got him, though. I remember that one time in 1992, we were on the phone one time-I think we were talking about the tour and why he turned it down-"

"Axl," Was all I said. "It was probably Axl. He hates Guns N' Roses for everything they stand for, but he fucking hates Axl."

"Well, we were talking and he mentioned you. It was after he cheated and it had made the headlines. He told me about how bad he had fucked up and that he wished he could have done it all over again. But, then he thought about the only plus side: Frances. He was so ecstatic about having a baby girl of his own. The way he talked about you, Ruby, I'll always admire. I could tell he loved you."

"Things went downhill after he cheated," I spread my arms out across the pillows. "I mean, that's his fucking fault, honestly."

"How are you still with him?" James asked me. 

"Because I wasn't able to take only myself into account-I had to take Lorelai into account. I didn't want her growing up in an unstable environment. I mean-"

"Wait, so Lorelai is Kurt's daughter?" James asked. 

"No. Lorelai is my dead ex-boyfriend's daughter. We're raising her as Kurt's daughter, but in reality, she's not biologically his."

"That's what you meant," Kirk tapped his temple. 

"I could never stay with someone if they cheated on me," James put his feet on the coffee table. "I mean, come on."

"Let's not talk about this anymore," I awkwardly sat up. 

"You're a fan of us?" Kirk asked. 

"Huge," I chuckled. "Ever since I was a teenager. It's crazy to think that Dave and I used to play your songs on the guitar and now you're in my fucking living room!"

"You better get used to it, Ruby," James said. "Your husband is the most famous man alive right now. There's a lot of plus sides to it. There's also a lot of negatives, though. There's more yet to come."