It's Better to Burn Out than Fade Away-Kurt Cobain

Chapter 22

December 17, 1991

"Kurt," I said. 

"Yeah?" He asked. 

I told him about the phone call I got last night and he immediately knew it was that girl. 

"What's her name?" I asked him. 

"Courtney Love."

"Courtney's a bitchy name. How does she know where I live?"

"She doesn't, she's just bluffing."

"How did she get my number?"

"One day, I asked her to call your number and then hand me the phone. I guess she just wrote down the number because she said you didn't answer."

"I might've been busy."

"Ruby?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

I smiled. "Of course I love you, Kurt. Do you doubt me?"

"No."

I kissed him. "Hey, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"No one's home-it's just us."

He looked around. "Yeah."

"Take the fucking hint, idiot."

"Oh, you want to fuck?"

I chuckled. "Yes, I want to fuck you."

"Then let's fuck."

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I laid on my back breathing heavily. 

"Goddamn Kurt," I panted. 

"You know you liked it."

"I did," I kissed him. "Kurt, why'd you cheat on me?"

"I don't know, Ruby. I did it out of sheer stupidity and I regret it. But, there's nothing I can do to change it."

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you still mad at me for it?"

"I mean, I'll always be mad at you for it, but I won't let it affect us. I just really don't want to lose you."

"You're not losing me, Ruby."

"So, what is Courtney like?"

"I'm not going to fucking talk about Courtney while we're both lying in bed naked."

"You're doing it right now," I stuck my tongue out. "Thanks for the letter."

"Which one?"

"The one your mom gave me."

"Oh, that thing! You're welcome. Hey, can I show you something?"

"Sure."

He got out of bed, covered his dick, and ran into the living room, grabbed my guitar, and came back in the bedroom. 

"Kurt Cobain, if my fucking guitar touches your dick, I will kill you," I told him. 

He smiled. "Don't worry."

He put a blanket over him and set the guitar down on top of it and started playing some chords. 

Watching Kurt play the guitar was a gift, but him showing you a song was something different. 

There was something about the way that Kurt played and sung. It wasn't like any other person that I had known-it was special. He didn't try too hard-he just did it-and it shows how talented he was.