L x Reader oneshots 1 // series 3 • Death Note

Confused

L felt, well... a bit out of place.

It was one of those days he seemed to get nothing done, couldn't focus and wasn't too pleased with literally anyone around him. And it was all because he'd found himself absolutely smitten.

This whole case he'd been telling the taskforce not to let emotions get in the way, and here he was in a work slump because he'd gone and went against his own advice. He wasn't very good at the whole being in love thing, he didn't know what to do about it. He was a bit of a sheltered person being a prodigy child from a closed off orphanage after all, he'd never experienced this before. It was an internal conflict of him wondering what to do and if he should do it, he wanted to do something about this but he didn't know how.

He didn't want to put you at risk by being too close to you on this case, but he also craved the feeling of you arms around him gently running your hand through his hair as he fell asleep next to you. He didn't want Kira to use him to get to you, but he just couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to just... be with you.

At a complete stand still in his work, unable to type a single letter he got up and sighed, stretching out his arms and heading downstairs. From his office where he did nothing but sit in his own misery of confusion, he went back down to the main room where you sat in the dark finishing work as the others had left for the day. You always stayed late... made him feel less lonely.

He didn't have anything to do in here, he just felt like being near you really.

He flopped face first into the sofa by the desks, and the sound of him hitting the pillows made you turn to face him.

The poor thing looked so defeated. You weren't sure what was up with him but he'd been like this for a while now. Maybe he was tired for once, or bunt out from the nonstop work?

"You good there?" You asked.

"No" he replied, muffled from the pillows.

"Mood. What's up?"

He sat up properly, well properly for him anyway.

"Well..." he began.

You could tell he didn't really know what to say, he was about to speak but nothing come out. He sighed, thinking for a moment and as if he were about to explain he went to gesture his hands stopped halfway.

"Uugghhhh-" he groaned in annoyance, flopping back into the pillows.

You sighed, snickering at his reaction and pushing your office chair over to him.

"Frustrated?" You asked.

"Yes" he complained.

"The case?"

"Yes but no. It's frustrating but that's not what I'm frustrated about"

"Then what's up, I won't spill. I'm not dumb enough to spill things when Lights around on the daily"

He'd been confused and pushing away his emotions for so long now that he was just getting more and more annoyed. He was going insane in his own mind. And the fact you were right there next to him acting so kind wasn't helping his case, he just wanted to have some kind of sweet everyday moment with you and go about life together. He didn't need anything special, just the small things.

Holding hands, a good morning kiss, a running joke, one of your shirts to wear, you to ask him to get your favourite drink while he was out, a nap while a movie played in the background on top of each other.

"(Y/n)..." he began, trying to find the words.

"Yes? Don't stress yourself out L" you replied.

That was it, your gentleness with him just pushed him over the edge. All the emotions bubbled over, the frustration reaching its peak.

"I'm confused! Ok? I'm confused. I'm always the one that's says not to let emotions get away of the case and then I go and fall in love, have no idea how to even do the whole love thing, contradict my own rules about emotions in the workplace, and end up in this stuck state where I can't do anything but sit there and wonder what to do with myself. How do you even be a boyfriend? I want to be but I've never done it! I know you like... kiss and stuff but what else? Are there rules? Are there things you must do no matter what? And what if you don't even like me?

And yes I'm talking about you Damnit, I swear to god if you keep being nice to me and treating me all gentle like fine china I'm going to go insane. You drive me crazy (y/n), you make me... FEEL things. I'm not used to it you know? But it's all such a risk because if I get too close to you then Kira might hurt you, or use you to get to me. But you're so pretty! And you treat me like a person not a weird alien creature.

I just wanna like... sit next to you and lean on your shoulder and stuff. Watch a movie and laugh at the bad acting together. Get caught in the rain and have to run back home all close together under the one umbrella. Small things... the normal love stuff. But it's so risky right now, and I don't know how to be a boyfriend and you probably don't even like me" he rambled, a long string of feelings with no breaks.

You took a second to process all that, not expecting any of it. You always knew L was a soft being under his hard exterior, but you weren't expecting it to be softness for you. He sighed and leaned back into the sofa all defeated and miserable. The poor thing is having too many emotions for his confused little brain to handle.

He was used to structure and analytics, not big gooey heart throbbing emotions.

"L..." you began.

"That was way too much wasn't it? God I have no idea what I'm doing..." he said.

"No I just wasn't expecting it. In fact... I'm glad"

"You're... glad?"

"It's good to express emotions, I know you're not the best at it so this is good progress for you. And even if you have no idea how to be a boyfriend, and it's a risk to be one... who cares? Would you rather try and see how it goes or sit there and wonder what would have been?"

He sat up straight again, suddenly intrigued.

"You're... not rejecting me?" He asked.

"No. Why did you think I would?"

"Well... yeah"

"L why do you think I stay back late all the time? It's the only time we get to talk without anyone around. It's so I can spend time with you... alone"

He didn't even consider that. He always figured you just liked to have all your work done, but the more he thought about it the more he realised how often you ended up in his office after hours to talk.

"Look, as long as no one finds out... what's the problem? You don't know how to be a boyfriend? I'll teach you. And we can start with all those small things you want so badly ok?" You said, picking up his hand and giving it a tight squeeze of assurance.

The computers that lit up the dark room exposed the pink dusted on his cheeks when you did that, and you couldn't help but smile as his sweetness. It wasn't often you saw him smile, but the little curl in his lips that gave him a happy look made your heart skip a beat.

"Now... how about we make a deal. I give you a good morning kiss every day, and you give me a goodnight one every night. That can be the first boyfriend thing you do. Deal?" You suggested.

He had a lot to learn, but with your help and kindness he'd be out of his pit if confusion in no time.

Plus... free kisses everyday day.

"Deal"