L x Reader oneshots 1 // series 3 • Death Note

I miss you

A/n: I've regressed back into my Lana del Rey era recently and been very inspired by the whole born to die album. It reminds me of L for some reason, probably because of its themes of love and tragedy.

When you bottle things up, they tend to compress until there's so mu pressure it all comes burying out. L had a nasty habit of suppressing. He'd convince himself emotions got in the way of solving cases and push them all aside, only to have it all come back to haunt him later on.

The worst emotion to feel when you're a person like this? Yearning.

He yearned, he ached, he craved. But what he wanted do badly was so far away. It'd been a long time since he saw you, this particular case being rather dangerous and for your own safety, you stayed home. But it'd taken longer than you'd both anticipated. While you did miss him, you weren't too stressed. If there was one thing L did, it was always come back. Even if it took a while, he'd always return. L on the other hand, had never been apart from you for this long.

He trusted you, he knew you wouldn't do anything behind his back while he was gone. That's not what he was worried about, it was the fear something would happen to you while he was away. He'd push it away, try to ignore it and tell himself it was all ok. But the more he did that, and the more he bottled things up, the more they threatened to burst.

And the less he could focus.

All the way on the other side of the world, he sat in a hotel room. Trying to get some work done before the big sting operation tomorrow. But it'd been so long, his yearning was just getting worse and worse. The sliding glass door that lead to the balcony was open, letting the breeze in and cooling the room. The curtains blew gently in the wind, the only light was from the laptop and the moon outside.

He tried, so hard. So so hard to keep his mind on the case files in front of him. But the sounds coming from outside were too distracting.

A couple, probably newlyweds on their honeymoon. They were laughing and slashing in the hotel pool a few floors down, and L could hear them from the open door. They sounded so carefree, so happy, so in love.

It was those sounds that were slowly breaking the cracks in L's metaphorical bottle, all his emotions starting to leak before the inevitable burst. His eyes stayed glued to the screen, desperately trying to stay focused. But it was one particular sound that broke him.

"You're so beautiful in the moonlight sweetheart" The husband told the wife.

Those were the exact words you told him, several years ago, on your first real date. Those words triggered the memory in his head, it flashed before his eyes. And before he knew it, his vision was blurred with tears.

There was no chance of him getting work done now. He missed you.

He missed you so much.

He drew a shaky breath, tried to wipe his eyes with his sleeves but the tears just kept coming. He'd bottled it up too much, and how it had burst.

He wanted to go home.

He wanted to have you drag him upstairs to go to bed, have you wrap all your limbs around him to keep him there and eventually fall asleep. He wanted to wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of you eating a midnight snack downstairs, see you jump when he'd walk up behind you and steal a cookie from your hand. Hear you laugh and gently whack him for scaring you. He wanted to talk endlessly sitting on the kitchen counter over a box of cookies about pointless things.

The small thing, he wanted them the most.

Holding your hand, smelling the perfume you had on when you walked past, hell he'd even let you jokingly smack his butt as he walked up the stairs and listen to you giggle immaturely when he glared at you in return. He just wanted you. He wanted you back, he wanted to go home.

Before he knew it, he was sobbing into the hotel pillows. He felt so out of place. This wasn't his bed, your bed. These weren't his pillows, your pillows.

He tried to steady his breathing, calm himself. But it was no use, he missed you too much.
At a loss, he got up and opened the door into the next room where Watari was staying. He looked up from his own laptop to see L leaning on the doorframe with red, teary eyes and a sorrowful expression. It wasn't often he saw L like that.

"I wanna go home dad..." he said, a crack in his voice.

Watari knew what this meant. It didn't happen very often, but it'd happened before.

"You only have a few weeks left, you'll be home soon" Watari replied.

"But I miss them"

"I know... I know"

He opened his arms, and L was quick to curl into them. Even though he was a full adult, he had the emotions of a child who was scared at their first sleepover and wanted to go home. Sometimes Watari was reminded of the times he'd have to tell him as a freshly into the orphanage, traumatised child that everything would be ok. It was the rare times like these that reminded him of that the most.

"You know, for someone who had such a hard time connecting with people as a kid... you really have the strongest connections with the people you love now as an adult" Watari said.

"I want to see (y/n)..." L sobbed.

"I know, they'll be waiting for you as soon as you get back"

"It's not the same... I want to go home now"

"Oh Lawliet..." Watari sighed.

Watari picked up the phone, not sure if you'd pick up as the time zones were different, but figured it was worth a shot. When your phone rang you were mid-cooking, having to put down the bowl of cake batter to answer.

You were a bit confused since on this particular case, the two had refrained from calling in case of phone lines being bugged. But you answer anyway.

"Hey, what's up? Something happen?" You asked.

"Think you can talk to L for a while?" Watari replied.

Ah, you knew what this was.

"Put him on" you replied.

You heard the phone move, and L's shaky breath on the other end.

"Hey lawipop, you alright?" You asked.

"I miss you" he replied, clearly having been crying.

"Aww, sweetheart. It's only a few more weeks"

"That's too long"

"Well how about I just put you on speaker and I can talk to you while making my cake Hm? You always have something to say about cake"

Despite the sad crack in his voice, you could tell he was smiling from the tone change. Cake always cheered him up.

"Yeah, ok... what cake is it?" He asked.

"Shortcake" you replied.

"Strawberry?"

"Of course"

L may have trouble with emotions sometimes, but that didn't mean he didn't have them. He loved you, so so much. So much that even though he wanted to book the first flight home and kiss you till you couldn't breathe right now, your voice was enough to make him smile.