L x Reader oneshots 1 // series 3 • Death Note

Aussie aussie aussie part 2

A/n: y'all liked the last crack fic about Australian DN. And I love confusing foreigners with our lingo and talking about experiences with dangerous animals like it's nothing so here's another one. Short n sweet crack while I work on the longer books.

"L GET OVER HERE!"

L sighed, what did Misa want now? If it was a Maccas run he may oblige, he was kind of craving a frozen coke right now. Getting up and walking down the halls to the front room of taskforce, he gave Misa an annoyed look.

"What? I have a killer to catch mate" he replied.

"You own this building, kill it!" She said, pointing to something up in the corner.

When L turned to look, he saw a spider has crawled out of god knows where and made itself at home. At first he couldn't tell what kind it was, and it wasn't until he got closer he panicked.

"Jesus FUCK- that's a red back!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah mate, no harmless daddy long legs or huntsman. I'm not touching it, you kill it" Misa replied.

"I'm not touching it! That could kill me!"

Where the little shit came from they had no idea, spiders weren't uncommon even in suburban areas but the deadly ones tended to stay out bush. This mother fucker was a long way from home that's for sure.

"I'm not going near it! One of them fuckers was on my bag hook in primary school, almost got bit! I'm traumatised for life thanks to that cunt" Misa said.

"Yeah well I grew up out bush, we had those shits in our shoes if we didn't shake them well enough. I'm not touching it" L replied.

Wammys wasn't exactly in the outback pre se, but it was out where all the wineries were in the fields. So they had their fare share of spider scares, even a few snake scares. And those damn kookaburras would always wake you up at 5am laughing from the big old gum trees out back. L knew how badly a bite from those spiders could fuck you up, he'd seen it.

"What the fuck are you cunts yelling about?" Light sighed, walking in annoyed.

"Liiiggghhttt, my lovely boyfriend! You'll kill the spider for us won't you?" Misa asked.

"That's it? You're scared of a spider? And you call yourselves Australians..."

They stayed silent, waiting for the moment he realised what kind it was to set in. Light was about to just walk over and whack it with his shoe, but once he saw the red spot, he froze and backed away.

"Oh fu- that's a red back..." he said.

"Yep, go on. Kill it" L taunted.

"Mate there's only two people on this planet brave enough to go up to a red back. Steve Irwin and a cooked up eshay, I am neither of them"

"Well you're certainly not a legend like Steve-o but a cooked up eshay..."

"Fuck off L"

And so the three grown ass adults... well one adult, one fresh adult and one teen, stood there looking up at this venomous spider wondering what to do. It wasn't exactly moving or anything, but the fact it COULD scared them. If they left it be it might bite them in their sleep or something. It needed to die, or be taken somewhere very far away from taskforce.

"Someone's gotta do it" Light shrugged.

"Not it" L replied.

"SBS, I'm immune" Misa added.

Light gave her an annoyed look.

"SBS? We don't even have a recess siren here, you can't be saved by the siren"

"Phrase still stands, I'm not doing it" she shrugged.

"Yeah mate, no hat no play. I'm not wearing a hat so I can't do it" L joked.

Light sighed in annoyance at the two's shenanigans. It was clear they were too much of a wimp to do anything, and he sure as hell wasn't going to risk it either.

"You two are fucking pussies. Looks like there's only one option left... DDDAAAAAADDDDD!" Light exclaimed.

Soon enough, his dad walked in annoyed that his work had been interrupted.

"Yes?" He said.

"Red back, kill it please" Light replied, pointing up at it.

Cheif Yagami gave him an 'are you serious' look.

"Light you're 17. Misa you're 19... L you're fucking 25!" He said.

The three just shrugged, they wouldn't do it.

"Fine..." the Cheif finally agreed, picking up the nearest thong off the shoe rack and simply walking over and slapping it dead.

He did it like it was nothing, a true elder Australian.

"Thanks" Light said.

"You know, one day I won't be around to kill the spiders for you, you know?" He replied.

"Yeah yeah..."

Crisis averted, no spider left to bite people. But now there was spider guts to clean up... yuck.

"I suppose I have to clean it up because it's my building..." L sighed.

"Yes" Misa and Light said in unison.

"Fine, I better get a Maccas run for this. I want a frozen coke after all that stress"