Pay The Price

Kabanata 21

Sa sasakyan ay tahimik lang ako. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin ni Can but I trust him. Noong huli ay iniliko niya ang sasakyan sa isang movie theater. "Ang sabi nila ang gamot daw sa pusong sawi ay isang magandang pelikula."

Kinunotan ko siya ng noo. "Sino naman ang nagsabi niyan? At sino ang nagsabing sawi ako?"

"Me." Nakangisi niyang sabi. "Let's go. I'm dying to watch this new action movie!"

"Bakit hindi ang pelikula mo?" Tanong ko sa kaniya. Pabiro niya akong inirapan at parang masusuka dahil sa tinuran ko.

"Eww. No, thanks. I get cringed when I watch myself on big screen."

Bumili siya ng popcorn at ilang snacks na kakainin namin. Pagpasok sa theater ay kaming dalawa lang ang tao. Anak ng! He rent the whole place too. Mana siya sa nanay niya na naman mall ang nirentahan.

Nangangalahati na ang palabas ngunit wala man akong naiintindihan kahit na gusto ko rin naman ang actor na nasa screen. Lumilipad ang isip ko kay Kristine at Dimitri. Did they stay together? Or Dimitri just dropped her off? Ah, I'm going to lose my mind.

"Your mind is flying somewhere else," Sabi ng katabi ko sa akin. Napanguso ako at umiling kahit totoo naman ang sinasabi niya.

"Hindi ah. Ang ganda nga ng palabas eh."

"Really? Ano ang nangyayari?" Tanong niya habang naniningkit ang mata sa akin. I shrug, nagkibit balikat ako na ikinatawa niya. "Lumilipad nga ang isip. What are you even thinking? Tri?" Mabilis akong umiling sa kaniya. How can he guess what I'm thinking. Ngumisi lang siya sa akin. "Nah, you can't fool me."

"Hindi nga."

"Bellsy, let me tell you the story of how I met the love of my life. Listen carefully, okay?" Tumango ako sa kaniya. Humarap siya sa akin at sumeryoso ang mukha. "It was way back when Dimitri and I are in senior high school. She is our classmate. The typical nerd. Some boys even laugh at her because she looks different from the other girls. But that's what I like about her. She doesn't try to jump into the trend just so she could fit in."

Can smile as he looks at the screen pero alam ko na hindi na doon nakatuon ang atensyon niya. Maybe the girl's face flashed in his mind. "She's the studios type. 'Yong magsusunog ng kilay makapasa lang. She's the top of our class. Silent and mysterious. You can only see her beside the window reading a book or drawing on her notebook. For a time, I was only looking at her from afar. I was contented with that. Not until some boys started seeing what I saw on her. They started showing motives to her. I want to be angry. Gusto kong sabihin na ako ang naunang sumulyap sa kaniya. But in the end I remember something. That she isn't mine so I have no rights to be angry to those guys who like her. I gather all the courage I have in my body. Tinatawanan ko ang sarili ko noon kasi kaya kong makipagbasagan ng bungo pero natatakot ako na umamin sa kaniya. And then, one afternoon, I just went to her side when we were playing volleyball and told her all about what I feel. I told myself it's now or never. And you know what she said to me?"

He looked at me and I saw how his eyes glisten upon remembering what the girl told her. "She told me 'I didn't really know who you are but I am willing to know you'. That was the day in my life I almost jump up to the sky. Mas masaya pa ako sa simpleng salitang sinabi niya kesa noong binigyan ako ng sariling kotse ng mga magulang ko." I chuckle. He looks at me after that and put his hands on top of mine. "Bells, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't be a coward for telling someone how you feel. You might not get the results you wanted but at least you are brave enough to tell him what you really want to."

I cleared my throat. Ano ang sasabihin ko kainino? Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko.

"What if what I'm just feeling is pressure? Na baka ganito ang nararamdaman ko ay dahil sa plano na ginawa namin ng Mommy mo? Na baka tumitibok lang ang puso ko ay dahil sabi ko at hindi dahil gusto ko?"

Nag- isip siya nang malalim. "Point taken. Well, all you have to do is sort what you are feeling. Hindi naman minamadali 'yan."

"Paano kung bandang huli ay hindi naman pala at false alarm lang lahat?"

Ngumiti siya sa akin at pinisil ang pisngi ko. "Kung hindi ay hindi. Pero kung oo ay kailangan mong maging matapang at umamin sa kaniya, Bellsy. You can't keep a feeling for so long. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi kung magkakataon."