Cigarette Daydreams | Shameless x reader

Fifty-Eight

"Yo why'd you two leave without saying anything?" Mickey asked walking in the door.

"Because you all were being absolute idiots. Yeah ask everyone how they feel but what about the fact you all ignore Liam and where is he gonna live once Debbie's house is sold? Yeah I said Debbie's house because oh yeah Fiona left it to her!" I said looking at them bouncing Morgan. "Morgan needs a change. Take care of your kid, I'm not here to do all the work."

"I didn't even think about where Liam would live." Ian said softly looking guilty.

"He's probably worried sick about where he's gonna live, that's why he ran off to V's. And Veronica messaged me saying she had Liam safe with her."

"Come here you little stink." Mickey said picking up Morgan bringing her to the changing station.

"You got any gay friends?" Ian asked taking a seat next to me.

"Yeah. Jessica, some other people from the university and Jessica's other queer friends. Why?"

"We think we need more friends. Ones who aren't just you and us."

"I can call Jess up, she can introduce you to her friends. But today I need you two to be on baby duty, I've hardly gotten any sleep I'm the last three weeks." I said leaning my head on Ian's shoulder.

"What if we take her with us?"

"What if they guys wanna have sex with you two?"

"Looks like we're staying home Morgs." Ian said looking at Mickey and Morgan who were a few feet away.

"I'll make dinner later."

We all hung out, I occasionally helped them care for Morgan if they needed it. Mickey was better with babies than he thought.

Time skip

Mickey came home crying like full on tears. I haven't seen him cry like this since Ian left for the army.

"Yo, what's up?" I asked walking over to him.

"Terry is fucking dead, man."

"Oh," I said softly pulling him in to let him cry on my shoulder, "wanna talk about it? Last time I checked, you hated him so I know it's not just that."

"This nun lady killed him. She had no right to kill him."

"I'm sorry you feel like you've been robbed but maybe it's better you didn't do it. If you really wanted to you would've plus you have a baby daughter who will need her father."

"I just, I don't know man, I don't even know what's wrong." Mickey said crying harder.

We walked to the couch and he cried for like thirty minutes until Ian got home.

"How's Frank?" I asked turning to Ian, Mickey still crying on my shoulder.

"Has alcoholic dementia."

"Shit. Sorry, do I say sorry? I don't know." I said looking down.

"Mickey why are you crying?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Mickey cried out before getting up and walking over to Morgan who was asleep. He picked her up and walked back over. "You're grandpa is dead. Only two left for you."

"Want me to cook dinner?" Ian asked taking off his coat.

"That'd be nice, thanks." I smiled.

Time skip

"Morgan, time for bath time!" I smiled picking her up and walking to the bathroom. I placed the baby bath mat thing in and started filling the tub. "Gonna be nice and clean!"

I put her in and washed her. After that I took her to the living room and started watching baby shows with her.

"Look its that red guy!" I said holding her so she can see the TV. "I can't wait until you can talk, it'll be so cool."

After a while she feel asleep in my arms and I just looked down at her.

What if I can't give her what she needs and deserves? How can I even do this? What if I end up hurting her like my dad hurt me or like Monica hurt Ian.

"I'm trying so hard for you." I whispered to her who was was now sleeping in her bassinet. My eyes were pink from trying not to cry. "I'm so tired."

I eventually let myself cry. Cry until I couldn't breathe, cry until my body hurt.

By time anyone got home I was on the ground next to her bassinet crying silently. My whole body was stressed along with my mind, my body was all tingly from crying so much.

"Y/n?" Ian called out from the entrance.

"Yo!" Mickey said calling out.

"Shit, you alright?" Ian asked running over to me who was in a ball on the floor. "Y/n what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna be a horrible mom." I mumbled while closing my eyes.

"You're not gonna turn out like Monica or David, alright? You aren't like them. You're so strong and Morgan will love you no matter what." Ian said holding onto me. "How long have you been like this?"

"A couple hours."

"Okay, get up." Ian said standing up and pulling on my arms. I slowly got up and he dragged me to the bathroom. "You need to take care of yourself. Have a shower or bath before I do it for you."

"Fine." I mumbled grabbing a towel from under the sink. I put the towel up and turned on the water and quickly undressed. I got in the shower and it was way too hot and I hissed out in pain.

"Don't put it too hot, you'll hurt yourself." Ian said turning the water down a good bit. "Will you be able to care for yourself or do I need to?"

I just looked down.

Ian quickly took off everything but his underwear and got in with me. He held me so I was standing up. He helped me wash myself only letting me do it in places since he didn't want to overstep. After I washed my hair and body we got out and he passed me my towel and grabbed himself his own. I quickly wrapped the towel around me and walked out with Ian behind me.

I went to my room and Ian went down the hall to the living room. I sat beside the door to listen to see if they say anything.

"How's she doing?" Mickey asked.

"I don't know. I'm gonna check her bottles to make sure she's taking them, she may need to go on a different medication."

"Fuck."

"I think it was just a meltdown though. We aren't helping her enough and she also has to be our main income. I think we're putting too much on her."

"Well who do we get to come and help her?"

"We could ask Debs to, or ask Liam, or we could ask Jess or pay for a nanny?"

"You trust a fucking nanny with Morgan? No way I'm letting some stranger come near her, probably kill her like they did with my dad. No way I'm letting you hire a nanny."

I quickly put on some clothes and walked to them.

"I'll be okay, me and Morgan don't need help." I said crossing my arms.

"Shit I knew she was listening." Mickey said quietly making us look at him confused.

"Listen just let us help, please. You need to be able to take care of yourself and the kid, take a few months off if you need, we'll get the rent money and stuff."

"I can't do that to my clients."

"Please. Even if you just lower it to three clients a day."

"Four."

"Fine, four."

"Deal."