The Poisonous Feather // MHA x DSMP

Deal for the night

Hawks hated it. He hated the fact that he could do nothing about the pain Tommy was feeling. He wished he could take away at least a little bit of the pain he was experiencing, or make it go away completely. The only thing he could do, was give him comfort and it made him feel pathetic and not hero like. Because he did not know what to do or say, instead opting to hold Tommy close to his chest and help him go through the pain.
He was glad Tommy was there with him, that he was alive and safe. But he couldn't help but blame himself for not helping him earlier, for not being there when it all happened. He did break his promise, didn't he? He let him get hurt and he couldn't even make the bastards pay for what they did.

And as much as Tommy appreciated the concern and help, he felt worse. With wings bandaged and strapped to his back, the knowledge that Hawks' wings were wrapped around him surely didn't help. And it wasn't even about the physical pain that was still there, making his body feel all sore and weird. It was about the mental pain. The thoughts were hunting him, because once again he almost lost something that was so dear to him. Despite knowing that they would heal and he would be able to use them like before after some practice, he couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve them. They were beautiful, gave him so many abilities. Yet he couldn't even use them properly, always harming the delicate bones and feathers.
He was jealous of Hawks, who could freely use his own wings and never worry about not being able to fly. And there was Tommy, who was taught how to fly by the best avian he ever met. And yet he still messed up. Deep down he knew that if Philza still cared, he would be disappointed and would probably punish him.
And maybe a part of him wished that Hawks would yell at him for being so reckless and hurting his wings. That he would hurt him, show him that he was pathetic and weak. He wanted it, he knew he wanted it. Yet he was relieved that the older avian didn't do such a thing, instead preventing him from getting cold and building a nest for them both to cuddle in.

A soft chirp caught his attention, his own ripping out from his sore throat. Hawks chirped two more times, getting a quick answer from Tommy.
The chirps from Hawks were full of worry and concern, quiet and squeaky. Tommy's chirps were hushed and hoarse, full of pain and tiredness.
Another chirp that escaped Hawks chest was supposed to calm Tommy down. And if it did, it was no one's business but his. Even then, he responded with a even quieter one that he so much tried to suppress.

"You don't have to hid your instincts, okay? You need to listen to them, it's never good thing to try and silence them" Hawks said, fingers running through Tommy's messy hair.

"I know.." was something he heard. "They never let me do anything, you know? Not even built my own nest"

Trying to inform the anger bubbling inside his chest, the winged hero gave Tommy a small smile and hushed him.

"But you're not with them anymore. No one will stop you from doing whatever you want or feel like if right. And if someone ever tried to do so, you tell me. I will deal with them for you"

Tommy nodded, not really trusting his words at the moment. He melted into the feeling when Hawks continued to play with his hairs. Suddenly, he felt a weird sensation in his chest. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't pleasing at the same time. It was like a part of him screamed at him. Something he lost long time ago came back and he understood something.

Back in L'manburg, there was no freedom. No happiness or safety. You would be locked inside four walls that easily reached the sky, blocking you from the rest of the world. If you did something wrong, you would get punished. If you did something right, you would be praised. And if you were good, you could lead the army during another attack.
But here? Everything was different. They didn't do anything, they let you live. They wouldn't come and take your stuff away, they wouldn't punish you for something you didn't do. Everything was better, safer. You lived with your family or friends,  the choice if you wanted to stay home for go somewhere. There was no wars. No pain. No trauma.