Entropy

LA| Chapter IV: What I've Done to Myself

The energy absorption brings me back to my physical self. I open my eyes to see myself on a hospital bed. There are monitors hooked up to me. Machines add more to the mundane colours of the wall. The tube inside my throat prevents me from talking. They didn't bother putting a sedative to ease the pain, thinking I wouldn't wake up at all. My body goes into a wave of great pain and numbness the next. Every time the pain hits, I let out a groan in distress. I am also trying to get the doctors' attention.

Ten minutes went by before a nurse came in and she noticed I was awake. She gasps and her hands slam against her mouth. My eyes went down and up back to her, silently gesturing for her to remove the tube down my throat because I can breathe just fine. She calls in a doctor before removing the tube from my throat.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asks me.

"In pain on and off," I croak. My voice is hoarse.

I still remember what happened right before I was knocked out. I then ask, "Where's my mother?"

"She's alive...She got out of the hospital a few weeks ago with severely fractured arms and legs. They both barely visit you though."

I sigh in relief that mom is okay, but more confused about why my parents rarely visit me. What did I do?

"How long have I been out?" I ask.

"More than a month," the doctor states.

Pretending that I don't remember what caused me to go into a coma for a month, I ask again, "What happened to me?"

"Your house exploded into flames. The investigators found that there was something wrong with the gas pipes inside your house, causing them to combust. Both you and your mom were injured. Your dad was fine," she explains.

That's when I realised that Markus has the ability to manipulate reality with other people. What we see is different from what others see or people don't see what's going on that is outside his radius. It sounds pretty messed up, leaving you to suffer alone. I know not to say that to the doctors and the nurses in the room, otherwise, I would've sounded delirious.

Another wave of ache radiates around my body like hot pace. I grunt and hunch over. "Inform my mom, anyway, tell her I am awake," I say weakly.

The doctor administers a painkiller. He didn't want to put too much on me just in case I fell back into a coma again. The thought of catching up with my schoolwork also put me on the edge. Absences screw you over. The pain is now bearable. Two hours elapsed before my parents showed up. The hospital is only a couple of minutes away! I understand that mom remains in the house and all, but why would she delay more hours when it comes to visiting her daughter in the hospital? I can give a pardon to my dad for working at the church, but would he put his family first? I will give them the benefit of the doubt because traffic can be a pain and the house exploded. They must've moved elsewhere.

My parents enter the room and there is this awkward silence. My mom is in a wheelchair. So much silence that I wonder what the hell is going on with them.

"Hi, mom!" I say with a fake smile. That smile disappears when I ask, "What's with the silence? Aren't you happy to see me awake?"

"You are leaving this house," mother abruptly says, which leaves me stunned.

"What for?"

"Apparently, the protection of going to George's house wasn't enough," mom adds in, "You should've been more careful."

"What the hell?!" I yell upset. "Where would I live?!"

"Maybe one of your friends will bring you in," mother answers coldly,

"So saving your damn life meant nothing at all?!" I yell again, "You got broken arms and legs while I was in a coma!"

I glare over towards dad. "Are you going to defend her?"

"Mom told me everything, You were hanging around with a devil in disguise and you were aware of it. The protection wasn't enough to not bring him back in the house," he replies with so much disappointment.

You got'ta be kidding me?! I thought he didn't believe it?! What made him change his mind?! Put me back to sleep again!

"It was not because I brought the devil! I have no contact contract with Satan! It's because mom didn't move while her brother was after her!"

I'm starting to regret what I've just said. My eyes widen, knowing the information that my mom never told me... Terri is going to kick my ass for this one.

"How did you know that?" Mom looks at me angrily. My father winces towards her, "You knew that my brother was coming the whole time?!"

"I didn't believe it! I am more pissed off that you lied to me when I asked about your troubles! How could you?!"

"How did you obtain this information then?" Dad retorts.

I somehow manage not to blurt what actually happened. "A freaking dream at Blathnaid's house. I thought it was all bullshit of a dream. You can't really blame me because mom's family was absolute shit that she grew up at an orphanage! Are you going to put me through what mom had to go through? From dealing with a shitty mom and her brother that turned into a big bad dude that slaughtered all of her damn family. The same girl who survived turned into a mom- Who wants to chuck her child out due to the fact that she believed that she brought her brother right back to her!" Tears and anger rush down my face. I can't hold it within me anymore. Why? Just why? How can I trust her again? I love her as my momma and she hides this from me.

My parents' faces turn grimmer in a matter of seconds. My father looks at her very concerned. She hid this from him too. For God's sake, his job is to rid evil and the devil! He can't cast out the metaphorical devils within us. My mother tries to speak, but she can't. I don't really care at the moment. I am too upset with them. "Freaking bullshit!" I growl.

My vision flashes white. I see a strong shockwave heading towards my parents. My vision flashes again before I can retrieve it. My mother's hands clasp into her chest. She has pure panic all over her face while she is gasping for air.

"Alicia!" "Mother!" Dad and I both cry out simultaneously.

She slides out of her chair and onto the floor. Doctors and nurses rush into the scene as mom slips into unconsciousness. My anger from earlier turns into terror. I am shaking and I feel very sick. A nurse checks her pulse and she shouts: "No pulse!" She begins CPR.

Tears well up in my eyes, breaking the dam. How can I go on knowing that I've killed my own mother?!

Everything is happening so fast. The defibrillator comes in. Mom does not wake up. Mom does not get up. My dad is kneeling near her. He is crying while praying at the same time.

"Mom, please," I beg her while crying, knowing it's my fault that she's in this state.

They keep on trying to revive her.

"Mom!" I yell.

My vision flashes white again. I see Terri standing by the doorway of my hospital room. No one else can see him. He looks down at my mother and then at me. His face has a stoic expression.

"Control yourself," he says calmly. His voice turns serious, "Or else you will kill everyone you know and love and to those around you!"

"Mother!" I scream again while my vision flashes white. Streams of tears go down my face. Almost thirty minutes went by, although the vision only lasted a few seconds. Doctors decided to give up. Mother is completely gone.

I look down in full shame and sniffle.

"Nao," dad calls me. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Mom literally died!" I sneer at him, "Why do you think I am okay?!"

"Naomi, your hair is turning white..." He explains.

I grab a handful of hair and bring it to my face. A headache surges while the heart monitor goes crazy. Good God, my head wants to split open and purge out brain matter. My hair is not also turning white, but it's growing at a quicker pace. Am I ageing rapidly? I scream in pain while my eyes roll back into my head. My eyes are trying to escape this nightmare, but they can't. It is stuck with me while I am confined to a bed without restraint.

What have I done?