Entropy

OUET| Chapter II: Safety is Not Guaranteed Behind Closed Eyes

"I am starting to pity you," Netedinark's words echo throughout my head like a storming ash cloud from a volcano. It's not music to my ears. I want to run from danger before being covered in suffocating clouds of doom. His ghoulish voice sends shivers up my body. That is enough to open my eyes up back in my room, lying in my bedroom.

My room is entirely dark with the bed's veil blocking most of my peripheral vision. I try to sit up, but I can't move. It's like my mind is not in working order. I try to kick, I try to sit up, I try to turn, but nothing happens. My body is stiff. What stares at the edge of my bed makes me want to cry: Netedinark.

I open my mouth up, but nothing comes out. I can't scream, I can't talk. I try to move in bed, but I am unable to. Netedinark smirks at me. My throat dries up. The tears come up to my eyes, but don't come out. I won't be able to call Aelen for help from his room. I can't feel my telepathy gem in my head. All I can do is silently cry.

"Crying now? Pathetic, helpless, weak little Naomi," he taunts me fiendishly as his tendrils come alive and sharpened.

Why aren't the Cosmic Reinforcements here?! My mind panics, Why isn't he gone?!

Around me, my whole world turns into a dark void. It's just Netedinark and I. I feel as if I am falling. I can't call for my wings, nor can I move. There are no walls that I can see while I plummet. I feel my death is near, but I can't die. I can't die! I don't want to die to Netedinark! I don't want to die to anybody! It's like my body betrayed itself on me, sacrificing itself to who tormented it. I don't want this! I don't want this! No! No! No!

Despite me falling, he stays in the same place, the distance. "This time, no one will save you," he says to me before he stabs me with his sharpened branch. I can feel the bugs go back into me. The pain returns back to life. Pain from all these years of hell hits all at once. It took me minutes to see myself wiggling my pinky. In response, I bolt up and rip the branch from his body with my bare hands. His branch snaps like wood. My whole body drags a ton as I lie on my side in the void. I hug my knees, not wanting to feel another attack from Netedinark.

"Get out!" I shriek with tears, "Leave me alone! Stop hurting me! Go awwwayyyyy!!!"

I keep on sobbing, begging for the venom to stop gnawing on my skin and organs. It stops in an instant, but I keep sobbing and sobbing as the Netedinark's presence never leaves me alone. It's the residue of an unwanted ghost. I want all of him to go away! I want it to stop! This can't keep on happening and happening. Why can I find relief? Is this what my mother felt from Markus when he was out of control? Am I finally empathising with what my mom had gone through? Her life on the line? The fright of his return? The worry of her family being in danger? The physical, emotional, and mental scarring Markus had on her? Am I also empathising with what Markus had gone through? His life hanging in the balance? Enduring violent outbursts? I was once privileged to have a life without trauma, but that's been taken away. Now I am tainted with it and it'll be this way forever!

"Naomi!" Someone calls out to me before touching me by the shoulder, causing me to squeal.

"Naomi, you're going to choke yourself with the veil if you don't sit up," his voice clarifies, it's Aelen.

I look up to see myself beside the bed with the veil on top of me. It didn't wrap around my neck and suffocate me. I pant and my heart thunders at the bottom of my throat and the pit of my stomach. Aelen stares at me, his eyes glowing with the Sun symbol. There are guards at the door, ready to fight for my life. They now see the flaws of the lord herself. She is not a healthy person managing an entire empire. I am vulnerable. Gods can be vulnerable. We can't show it though. They will probably whisper to the people, fueling those who spite me that I am unfit to be ruler. I always try my best.

"Naomi, are you okay?" He asks me.

"I s-saw him! He was here!" I say between fright and tears. I point to the edge of my bed from the last time I saw him.

"Naomi, he is in prison, away from here," he tells me. He dismisses the guards. He pats my bed and offers, "Sit up next to me."

I got up, still panting, but not as panicked as I was. He pulls me closer. He offers a hug whenever I am stressed from some Teketa causing panic in the community or a small uproar has happened. Hell, there are Teketa that yell at me with their disagreements. They curse harder than Blathnaid when her inner Irish gets angry. Aelen and I have become best friends as we worked as rulers of the Teketa. This progress is not smooth as cat fur though. It's been only five years. I am not expecting to change overnight, but I want to see a huge difference after this century is over.

"I couldn't move...I couldn't scream," I told him.

"That was sleep paralysis. It's horrible," He informs me.

"I was weak," I utter meekly.

He shakes his head and goes, "No, you're not weak, Naomi. You're still fighting. Fighting takes guts. It will hurt, it will be rough, but getting through will make you stronger than the insufferable. The ones who have it all. Again, you're not weak."

"Thanks, Aelen."

"Do you want to sleep on the couch in my room?" He offers, "I know you don't want to sleep in my bed with me in it."

"No. I will sleep in here," I say to him.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am sure," I said to him with a tired smile.

"Okay," he gets up and walks to my door. He looks back at me and says, "Tell sleep paralysis to bugger off."

"Will do."