Short Stories and Oneshots

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Author: The Seven of Us 

Platform: Fanfiction.net

Type: Marvel

In which one of the team brings up Steve's "Language!" incident, and the terrifying, stoic Winter Soldier comes in from the cold. (And for some reason, those two are directly related). No Civil War. AU.

~

"You know, Cap, I'm never forgiving you for the 'Language!' incident," Tony said nonchalantly, waving his hands – one holding an uncovered cup of coffee and somehow managing to not spill a drop.

"...I don't think that I've heard this story," Sam said, looking at Steve curiously.

The blond in question looked pink around the edges.

"Well, let's say that we were in a major fight. This was the first time that we met Wanda and Pietro, right?" Natasha said.

"I said something innocent, like, 'damnit', when it was particularly irritating," Tony said.

The entire table paused to look at Steve.

"You didn't," Sam said flatly. "Tell me you didn't."

"He did," Clint said with relish. "His head just snapped up and he barked out, 'Language!' like we were a couple of irreverent teenagers."

Sam lost it. Steve was still a little pink in the face, and Tony smacked his gum obnoxiously.

"Stevie, you have got to stop trolling your friends. I hear it's not nice."

The entire table stood up as one, hands automatically going for weapons.

Bucky Barnes stood there in blue jeans, a white I <3 NY t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Both hands were stuffed in his pockets.

After a moment, Steve said, "It might not be nice, but it's sure fun as hell."

A mixture of a smile and a smirk is tugging its way across Barnes' face. "Is that what we call the Coney Island incident and the subsequent revenge? Fun as hell? Or just hell?"

"That one was just hell, but I can think of several others that could classify as 'fun as hell'."

"What the hell is going on?" Tony finally broke in. "I thought that Tall, Dark and Murderous over here was, you know, murderous."

Barnes addressed Steve: "You are such a sneaky little shit." Then he turned to Tony. "Rumors of my brainwashing were greatly exaggerated. Well, they weren't, but then they were a few weeks ago."

"At your service, Sargent Sarcasm," Steve muttered.

"I...don't know how to compute this," Tony said. "Steve, do you know that you're sassing the crap out of the Winter Soldier?"

Steve blinked at him once, confusion creeping into his eyes. "No?"

"Here's a tip, Stark," Barnes said nonchalantly. "If he says that he's fine, he's got at least four broken bones and possibly a concussion. If he looks strong and capable, he's probably bullshitting his way through the entire thing. If he looks confused, he knows exactly what he's doing. And if he acquires some forties stereotypes along the way – let's say that he's screwing you over."

They all looked at Steve, who was no longer pink and had a shit-eating grin on his face.

"It's good to have you back, Buck," he said.

"You are such a goddamn fucking troll," Tony hissed venomously.

Natasha broke into peals of laughter.

~FIN