Short Stories and Oneshots

Bad Padfoot - Parts 1-3

Author: Age of the Geek Baby

Platform: Fanfiction.net

Harry Potter has had a tough life. Now that he no longer has to deal with Voldemort, what will happen? Why, his godfather getting him involved in an alien war because he couldn't use a tree. Poor Harry.

Bad Padfoot Part One

Staring at the thrumming cannons, Harry couldn't help but sigh. After following his godfather through the Veil, Harry had spent nearly two years searching for him before he had finally found the man living as Padfoot. Tracking him down to a quiet neighborhood called Tranquility, Harry couldn't stop himself from sighing.

His plan had been simple. He would wait until nightfall, quietly sneak into the backyard of the man's house, and dognap his godfather. Instead, when the lights had finally been turned off, he had to follow Padfoot for nearly two blocks before he found himself standing in a backyard where several giant robots stood.

Harry arrived just in time to see Padfoot hike up a leg and piss all over the foot of the large black one. Stifling a groan, Harry made his way into the backyard and glared down at his godfather. His attention was drawn away from laughing grey eyes at the sound of humming energy. Looking up, Harry stared at the thrumming cannons for a moment before sighing.

"Your dog leaked lubricants all over my foot."

Snorting, Harry stepped to the side as Padfoot tried to hide behind him. "Do what you want with him, just don't kill him."

Hearing Padfoot whine, he smirked down at the dog. "You were stupid enough to 'leak lubricants' on a giant robot. Now you get to deal with the consequences Padfoot. But I swear, if I get caught up in an alien robot war, I'll make you wish you never pissed on anything but a tree."

Five minutes later, Harry found himself in the back of a car with two other teenagers, his godfather whining softly behind him in the very back. Of course the bloody agents wouldn't believe him when he said he had simply been looking for his dog. No, they had taken both him and Padfoot into custody and now the annoying one that had an overinflated ego was asking them what they knew about aliens. Harry sulked. He was really beginning to wish that he hadn't broken free of Remus' grip. If he hadn't gone through the Veil, he wouldn't be dealing with bloody alien robots because his godfather had decided it was a brilliant idea to piss on the foot of one of the alien robots.

Harry gave a dark scowl. Padfoot would be paying a visit to the vet. Getting neutered may just make Sirius think twice about pissing on alien robots again. The again, Sirius would probably just do something even worse. Sighing again, Harry resigned himself to his fate. Only he could end up getting involved in an alien war because his godfather thought it was a good idea to 'leak lubricants' on the foot of one of the alien robots. He was definitely going to have Padfoot neutered.

Bad Padfoot Part Two

Sitting next to the two teenagers in the helicopter, he kept a tight grip on the harness his godfather wore. It was clipped to a short strap connected to the floor, keeping the Grim like dog from taking an unwanted trip out of the helicopter.

Even with the headset he was wearing, Harry barely caught what the other teen, Sam if he remembered correctly, started to say.

"So..."

"What'd they get you for?" Looking across at the blonde woman, Harry caught the stunned expression she wore at Sam's response.

"Ummm, I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?"

Snorting, Harry gave an amused smile as he spoke to the two stunned adults across from him, his voice entirely bemused.

"If you think that's bad, you'll love this. I go looking for my dog, only to find Padfoot using the foot of an alien robot as a tree. Apparently it's illegal or something to own a dog that takes a piss on alien robots."