How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 63: Advice

I get woken up around 10 when my mom knocks and tells me how late it is.

I roll over and put the pillow over my head. "Let me sleep, I'm tired." I shout.

The memories of yesterday slowly seep into my mind and I wish I could just turn off my brain for a bit.

I have a perfect boyfriend who did nothing wrong. What do I do? I make out with Adam. Out of spite. Purely to hurt Austin. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe everything Austin said about us not being good for eachother is true. How can I really be good for Austin if I'm willing to go this far to hurt him back? I don't like seeing Austin in pain. Why did I do this?

I groan and wrap myself in my blankets, rolling into a ball. If I roll into a tiny ball and try to make myself smaller and smaller, maybe I can just vanish.

My mom comes in, despite my protest that I wanna sleep.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asks me in a soft voice.

"Mom, I'm tired. I couldn't sleep a lot. Can you please just leave me alone?" I ask her.

"What are you upset about?" She asks me.

I groan. "Mom! Please. I wanna sleep!" I shout.

She sighs and leaves the room without saying anything else.

I stay in bed for another three hours. Austin texts me that he's on his way to work and that he can't wait for tonight to see me again.

Can I make this guilt go away somehow? In a way that doesn't ruin our relationship?

I wanna talk to someone about it. But who? Carla and Harry love Austin. They'd hate me for it. Harry even warned me from hanging out with Adam.

I decide to call Kevin. He's my best friend. He'll know what to do.

I dial his number and wait for him to pick up.

"Yo. What's up?" Kevin asks as soon as he picks up.

"Hey. I just wanted to talk a little." I say.

"Okay? Shoot. What's wrong?" He asks me.

"Uhm. I fucked up. Really bad." I admit.

"Let me guess, you smoked weed?" He asks me.

"Uh, yeah, that too." I say.

"Too? So there's something worse?" He asks me.

"Yeah. The weed isn't the problem. The test never showed negative until now, my parents believe me." I explain.

"Okay. Then what's the problem?" He asks me.

"It's who I smoked weed with." I explain.

"Who?" He asks me impatiently.

"Adam. A guy from my class. He's been kinda bullying me for a while. Kinda. And this week he kinda hit my head to the table and I needed to get stitches." I explain.

"Wait, wait, wait. What? You didn't tell me about that." He says.

"Yeah, uhm. So Austin punched him and they both got expelled." I explain.

"I love Austin." Kevin says, chuckling.

I groan. Of course he loves Austin. He will also hate me.

"Yeah, but I kinda became friends with Adam." I tell him.

"There are a lot of 'kinda' in your story. Why did you befriend him?" He asks me confused.

"He apologized to me and I don't know. He had weed and we met up." I explain.