How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 115: Fare well sanity

After talking to the psychologist I feel weird walking back to the classroom. I feel anxious for some reason. Maybe talking to that stupid psychologist made me upset.

I walk to the toilets and there I wash my hands and face to try and- I don't even know- wake myself up a little.

My hands feel numb and my face looks almost foreign as I look at my reflection. Today is such a weird day. I feel so out of place.

Maybe I need something to wake me up. Good thing I have one of the pills from the toilet in my jeans' pocket.

I look at the pill, holding it in between my fingers. Or maybe I should flush it instead.

_____

"How's the free period going?" I ask as I walk back into the classroom, finding Carla, Harry and Austin working on homework.

"Lame. Chemistry sucks." Harry says. "How was your talk with the psychologist?"

I cross my arms over my chest as I sit down on my desk. "Useless. Austin, you're also supposed to go there." I say.

He looks up at me confused, raising his eyebrows. "I do?"

"Yeah. She said you're supposed to come by in the timeslot she gave you." I tell him.

He frowns. "Uhm. Okay? I didn't know that. I haven't talked to her since the beginning of the school year."

"Yeah, well, maybe check your mails or something." I suggest.

"I'm hungry. Harry, let's get something to eat." Carla says and stands up, dragging him with her. She definitely wants us to talk everything out since we're still kinda fighting, kinda not.

"What's wrong?" Austin asks me in his gentle voice.

I frown at him. "What? You ignored me all day. What do you mean what's wrong?"

"You ignored me just as much." He points out.

"Yeah, but you ignored me first." I say.

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever. We can keep ignoring each other or finally make up." He suggests.

"You know what? I don't care. If you wanna keep ignoring me, do that."

He sighs. "Sammy. I just tried to end this ridiculous argument." He says.

"What argument even? We talked it out yesterday." I say.

He grabs my arm and yanks me over to him.

"So you think there's nothing more to say?" He asks me.

"You tell me. Does it feel like we're on good terms?" I ask him annoyed.

"Can we please just try to solve this and not fight anymore?" He asks.

"I'm not fighting. You're the only one behaving like a jerk." I say.

He looks at me angrily as he digs his fingernails into my arm right where the scar is. I wince as I look at him scared. Why is he sometimes so goddamn rough?

He looks at his hand and then lets go.

He groans and rolls his eyes. "I have no idea what that's about again and where you try to get with these stupid comments, but if you wanna fight then we can fight." He says.

Did he even realize he hurt me just now? He didn't apologize.

"Great." I say and grab his stuff from my desk where he's been working with the others and put it back on his. "You don't mind, right?" I ask him.