How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 134: Pity party

"Good morning!" Kevin wakes me up by shouting in my ear.

I groan and push his face away. I couldn't get enough sleep. After remembering the conversation with Jared I couldn't fall asleep again for a while.

I look at the time. Great. I slept for two and a half hours.

"Breakfast is coming." Kevin says. "I'll eat all your meat and you can have my veggies." He suggests instantly.

"Uh, yeah." I answer as I sit up.

"My mom just called me." He tells me. "She'll be here around lunchtime."

"Oh? What did she say?" I ask him.

"Well, she doesn't know that I'm at the hospital yet. She just said she'll come home a few hours earlier than planned." He admits.

"Dude. Tell her you're at the hospital." I say.

"Yeah. Yeah, I will. I just don't wanna freak her out. I'll just tell her after she gets off the plane." He says.

I frown. "Why not tell her right away?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "I wasn't sure what to say. She'll find out that you cut my hand. I have no idea how she'll react."

"Oh." I say. "You think she'll hate me?"

"Of course not. But-" He says and rubs his face. "I don't know. She'll probably be mad at us and I don't want that."

"Come on. She should be mad at me." I point out. "You needed surgery because of me."

"Your parents just started liking me again. I don't want my mom to be mad at you. I don't want her to tell me to stay away from you or some shit like that. I'm fucking over that." He says angrily.

"It's gonna be alright." I try to soothe him when I realize how upset he really is.

"No. It's not gonna be alright." He says. "My hand's gonna have permanent damage. I can't even write with it. I can't game. I can't play the drums or bass. I can't do anything."

He sits down on his bed, holding his head in his hands. "She's gonna be so mad at me. I promised her I'll be fine home alone while she's gone and now she comes back and I'm here. I just- ugh- I don't wanna disappoint her." He says.

I don't know what to say. Saying sorry isn't enough. Saying sorry is a joke for what I did to him. I did this. It's all my fault.

"Sorry." Kevin says and stands up. "It's gonna be alright. You're right. Accidents happen. Who cares? I'll just get used to it." He says.

Fuck. He is angry at me. Of course he is. He's just hiding his anger because he's too scared to hurt me.

But what am I supposed to do to make it up to him? I can't do shit. I can't change the fact that his hand is injured because of me.

"Kevin. Stop pretending you're fine." I say to him. "Talk to me. Get angry at me or something, but don't pretend you're okay when you're not."

"I called my dad." Kevin says with a sigh as he sits back down. "When the hospital asked to call him when we couldn't reach mom."

I turn over, so I'm facing him, letting my legs dangle down on the side of the bed.

"I called him." He says, his head hanging low. "I asked if he could just come by to talk to the doctor for me. That was before I had the surgery. I got pain meds, but it still hurt a lot. I was trying my best not to cry and I called him."

I can hear him sigh.

"He picked up and asked me how I am and I told him he needs to come to the hospital to agree that I can get the surgery. He was a little confused because he didn't know what I meant. When I told him that my hand got stabbed with a knife and I need the surgery and he has to come over because it's only a twenty minute ride for him he just said he has to get up early the next morning." Kevin says and sighs frustratedly.