How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 111: first impressions

How I end up in front of Austin's apartment building I don't know. I try calling him, but go straight to voicemail each time.

The door downstairs is missing a glass window, so I just reach inside and let myself in.

Upstairs I knock on the door. I knock for a minute until I can hear someone walking over.

Austin's dad opens the door. He looks sleepy, but surprised to see me.

"Hi." I simply say.

He frowns. "Hello Sam. I haven't seen you in ages. What are you doing here so early?" He wants to know.

I shrug. "Is Austin home?" I wanna know.

"Uhm. I'm afraid not. I think. Sorry." He says hesitantly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"He borrowed Claire's car yesterday and was gone all day. He brought the car back, but left right after that. I assumed he's at your place." He explains.

Claire is Austin's new step mom's name I guess.

"Oh, uhm, did he seem upset?" I wanna know.

Is he alright? What was I thinking, blaming him for everything and letting Louis kick him out?

"I didn't see him. Did something happen?" He asks me confused.

"Uhm, no, yeah, I mean we had a fight." I explain.

"You can stay and wait for him if you want." He suggests as he looks me up and down.

"Uhm. Would that be alright?" I ask unsure.

"Yeah, of course." He says with a smile. "My son in law is always welcome." He says and pats my shoulder rather roughly, making me flinch.

"Thanks." I say and get inside as he steps aside.

I go straight to Austin's room. The flat looks different. A lot cleaner and fresher than I remember it.

Austin's room on the other hand looks messy. His clothes are on the floor and his bed isn't made. Unusual for him, he usually keeps everything neat.

"Make yourself home." Austin's dad calls out and then closes the door to Austin's bedroom.

I sit down on Austin's bed. "Where are you?" I ask out loud.

I look around the room. There are bloody tissues in the bin underneath his desk. I walk over and take a closer look.

Tissues with dried blood. Not just drops of blood, but lines. Like he pressed the tissue to bleeding cuts. Deep cuts.

Fuck. He cut his arm. Because of me. I'm so stupid. How didn't I realize how bad he's doing with this situation? He was so desperate to bring me home. I just should have come along right away. I should have never left in the first place.

I sigh and sit down, pulling my backpack towards me. I'm gonna wait here for him. But I also don't wanna be sleepy when he comes home. I should get some sleep. But right now I'm not tired at all.

I pull out the syringe and morphine from my backpack. I open up the bottle and then pierce the needle through the thin lid and fill its content into the syringe. I then throw the glass jar away and lie down.

I screw the syringe on and then push the plunger in, injecting half the dose.

I close my eyes and let the effect consume me. All the pain I just felt is gone within seconds. All the doubts in my brain are also gone. My problems don't matter anymore.

My skin feels electric and my fingers feel heavy and numb. It feels so good. Like a wave of relaxation

Like the world is swallowing me in the pits of a mountain of softness and warmth.