How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 129: The perfect demise

This is a trigger warning for this chapter. I think we all know why.

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I sit in front of a blank piece of paper with a pen in hand. I'm gonna die and I should at least explain myself. Or maybe I should just make it look like an accident?

Jared left without an explanation. I feel like I can't do the same thing to my friends and family. Not knowing why is haunting.

I groan as I have a staring contest with the sheet of paper.

I don't even know what 'the reason' would be. There're a thousand things that play into why I feel like this. The biggest factor is how I can't seem to break out of this stupid mentality that always ends me in the worst possible situations and brings pain to everyone around me.

Okay. Break time.

I stand up and sit down on my bed, pulling out my phone. I text Louis that I'll come over some time around midnight.

And then I type out a text for Adam. Man, I'm such a piece of shit. But I wanna get this over with.

"I'm really sorry, but I don't have feelings for you. I'm just using you and I want to end this now. I'm sorry." I press the send button and close my eyes. What kind of break up message is that? I don't even have the guts to say it to his face.

Twenty seconds later he calls me.

Fuck.

I pick up the phone.

"Sammy?" He asks.

"Hey."

"You're breaking up over text?"

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Fuck. We dated for one fucking week." He says.

"I'm sorry."

"Does this have to do with Austin? Because you spoke with him?" He asks.

"You know that?" I ask confused.

"I brought the trash out and saw your car. When I saw Austin talking to you I just left. You know, I kinda already expected that."

"I'm sorry." I repeat myself.

"Fuck. You change your mind every damn minute. Next time you're not sure, don't act like you are." He says angrily.

"Yeah. Sorry." I say.

"I broke up with Dylan for you." He tells me.

"I know. I'm sorry." I say.

"I don't understand you. One minute we're happy and we have an amazing time in bed and the next moment you cry and now you break up with me and tell me you don't have feelings for me. What the hell? Why are you like this?"

"I'm sorry." I tell him.

"Stop saying that you're sorry!" He yells angrily. "Do you like hurting other people? Do you like breaking hearts? Fuck."

"I tried to tell you that I don't like you like that." I argue. "You kept trying to convince me that it's fine."

"Because I thought you liked me at least a little bit." He says.

"I do like you!"

"But not like you like Austin, right?" He asks me.

I bite my lip. He hit the nail on the head.

"But, can't you just like both of us? Can't we just stay together?" He begs me.

"Adam." I say with a sigh.