How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 141: Who's the cockroach now?

I can't look into Adam's eyes anymore. At first it was because I felt guilty. But now I'm just extremely nervous and nauseous when I look at him and think about the fact that he willingly killed Noah.

He wasn't dead. The moment he noticed that he should have called for help. But would that have been better?

Maybe we would have been arrested. Maybe Noah would have won the case. Maybe he would have come for me again.

"Earth to Sammy!" Carla rips me out of my thoughts.

It's friday morning and the last few days were exhausting while the nights were frightening.

"Hey." Austin says softly as his hand strokes over my back softly. "You're so tense all the time. What's wrong?"

I shake my head. It's all in my mind. My fears are irrational.

"Sorry. Just a little tired." I answer.

_____

"Samuel! How are you doing?" Alan asks excitedly when he comes online for our call.

"Good. I guess." I say unsure.

"Still feeling slightly paranoid?" He asks.

I nod my head.

I'm glad I decided to tell him about the necklace. He could take away some of my fears, but then on wednesday I saw Noah and it all got worse again.

"Wanna tell me about them?" He asks.

"I saw Noah." I say. "Okay. Yeah, no. He's dead. But for a moment I saw him in a crowd." I say. "Am I going crazy?"

Alan looks surprised by my confession.

"When was that?" He asks.

"Wednesday." I tell him. "I was walking home from school and for the blink of a second I saw him. Then I looked away and then he was gone."

He nods his head. "Yes, okay. Okay. Let's talk about that." He suggests calmly and I nod my head.

"I didn't do drugs." I blurt out. "I got tested yesterday. All good."

"Yes. Yes, okay. I believe you." He says.

"I- I know that can't have been real, but I saw him and it makes me super scared." I explain.

I hate it. I wanted to ask Alan about my plan to visit Kevin next friday, but now he thinks I'm crazy. Gosh. I hate this. But I gotta tell him because I haven't told anyone and I feel like going insane.

I'm being honest. Progress is progress.

Alan nods his head. "Scared of being perceived as crazy or scared of him actually being alive against all odds?" He asks.

"Both." I admit. "And of not just being perceived as that, but actually losing my mind."

"Okay. Let's talk about his death." He suggests.

I take a deep breath. "Yes, okay."

"As everyone knows his remains were found." He starts. "He was declared dead."

I nod my head. "But only teeth and a bit of bones were found."

"Because the rest of his body was eaten." Alan says.

I nod my head. "Yeah. But no way to prove that."

"You think he just faked his own death?" He asks me. I can see that he's excited about the theory. He keeps his professional expression, but his eyes are sparkling.

Well. He faked it? I think he maybe woke up before the pigs could consume him and just ran away and got help or something and then went with the story since it only played into his cards.