How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 162: Adam, the tumor

I don't know why, but I cannot edit my chapters on my phone anymore, so now I gotta use my conpany phone each time. Extremely annoying because I'm not an iphone person.

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The rest of the week goes by rather uneventfully. I spend a lot of time studying, so I don't really have a lot of time to think about anything else.

Nora has not relapsed and from what Austin told me, she's slowly feeling better again.

At school I talked a lot to Adam. And it's weird. Because I feel bad about spending time with him. Although we're only friendly with each other it feels like I'm cheating when I just talk to him.

Austin has been way too chill considering he now knows about this damn crush, but I'm definitely not gonna break his trust. Adam is a friend and nothing else.

Austin and Adam have also been talking in a very civil way. Right now I watch them talk to each other, laughing about something. I can see them glance in my direction and then they both chuckle as if they're laughing about me.

Yup, they love making harmless jokes about me.

Austin's lack of jealousy is definitely refreshing, but also quite irritating. Since when do they get along? Why is he not jealous? Because he also likes someone else maybe? Angela?

I watch as Dean walks by and bumps into Austin, causing him to stumble forward, Adam catching him by his arms.

I bite down on my lip as I watch them look at each other and then start smiling.

Or he also likes Adam and just lied in my face when I brought it up.

Which is a ridiculous thought. Because Austin clearly said he can't imagine that.

I watch them interact. Dean is now holding up Adam's arm and pointing to his biceps. He pulls up the sleeve of his own shirt and flexes his arm. Dean is pretty fit himself, but not as muscular as Adam.

I roll my eyes as they obviously start comparing their muscular arms while Austin seems to compare them. I don't get why they are so obsessed with getting big. I do like muscles, but I also like everything else. I think every body is beautiful in a unique way.

Adam doesn't look better than Austin just because he has more gains for example. I made fun of Austin's younger self's chubby cheeks, but I'm sure I'd find him as attractive if he wasn't as fit now.

I look down on myself. I guess I feel good with my own body. I'm kinda short and weak, but I'm not as skinny as I used to be. I feel like I get way too insecure too easily. I'm sure everyone has these kinds of insecurities.

If I was Marcus for example I would also feel insecure, being friends with Adam and Dean. Well, they're not friends anymore.

I let my eyes wander over to where Marcus is sitting. He hasn't been mean towards me at all ever since I talked to him on the phone during my hospital stay. But Adam and him haven't spoken to each other either. He looks kind of sad, but I try not to care.

But then he looks at me and we lock eyes for a moment.

Great. Now he probably thinks I've been staring at him. He frowns as if to say 'Why are you looking at me?', so I quickly turn away.