How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 97: Life goes on

I stay rolled up in my blanket with my eyes shut for a while. I wait for my body to calm down.

It was horrible. What happened? It was so weird. What the fuck is going on with me? I totally lost control over myself.

But I gotta calm down now. I have all the time I need to figure this out. I'm sure this will never ever happen again.

When my breathing slows down enough I open my eyes, finding mom sitting next to me, waiting patiently.

"What happened?" I ask her. "I- It felt like- I-" I don't even know what I wanna say or how to describe what happened.

"Honey, I think you had a flashback." She says.

I frown. No. It was something else. In flashbacks I'd relive memories. Memories of situations that actually happened. It can't have been that.

How did that happen? What made me behave like that?

"I didn't take drugs." I say to her. "I think. I'm not sure."

She nods. "Yes. We know. You did a test, do you remember?" She asks.

"Yesterday." I say, frowning.

"Two hours ago." She says. "You don't remember?"

I shake my head.

She nods. "Okay. It's okay. You don't have to remember."

"I've snapped. I'm totally crazy, am I right?" I ask her.

"No, you're not crazy. It's gonna be fine." She assures me.

I take a deep breath and look around the room. "Where's everyone?" I ask her.

"They're all in the kitchen. You sent them away." She explains. "Try to calm down and then we can talk about what happened."

"I'm tired. Can I go to sleep? I didn't sleep a lot." I tell her.

She closes her eyes and nods. "Do you wanna sleep here or in your room?" She asks me.

I just wanna be in my bed and be held by Austin.

"Can Austin be with me?" I ask her. "I wanna go to my room."

She nods. "Yes, of course."

I put the blanket away from me and stand up and then walk up the stairs.

I walk into my room and lie down in my bed, wrapping the duvet around me.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" Mom asks me carefully.

I press my lips together and shake my head. I wanna have Austin by my side. I don't wanna talk to mom. It's already awkward enough. I'd rather talk to Austin about how my mind made me experience something that surely never happened because it can't have happened like that. I would have remembered.

"I'm gonna tell Austin to come upstairs, alright?" Mom asks me as she walks to the door.

I nod and bury my face in the blanket.

What did Noah do? Did this really happen? And if it did, how did I not remember for over a week?

How long was I lost in this memory? Twenty minutes? How can it already be 5 when I just talked to Austin and Caleb at 2?

That didn't actually happen. My mind must have come up with that. Noah didn't actually freaking rape me.

"Hey." Austin says as he comes in. He closes the door behind him and walks over, stopping a meter away from me.

"Can you come here?" I ask him.

He nods and carefully climbs into the bed with me.

He lies down next to me and wraps his arms around me over the blanket.