How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 104: totally crazy, not realistic at all

The nightmares got worse. What's worse than being sexually assaulted and killed by Noah? You guessed it, being sexually assaulted and killed by a zombie Noah.

I open my eyes, my body drenched in sweat and my heart racing.

"It's alright, it's alright." Austin whispers, stroking my head gently.

I take deep breaths, clutching my chest. Can't I just forget about all that?

"Shower." I whisper and sit up, rubbing my face.

Austin sits up with me. "Calm down first, okay?" He says while rubbing my back.

I shake my head and stand up, but sit back down when my vision turns black.

"Dizzy?" He asks me worriedly.

I nod my head.

"Then you should eat or drink something. Have you eaten anything today?" He wants to know.

I sigh and shake my head.

"Okay. Let's ask your mom for some food." He suggests.

I shake my head frantically. It will hurt. Swallowing hurts so much. Eating food must be so much worse.

"Why not?" He asks.

"Hurts." I say.

"Yeah, stop talking and use that tablet, alright?" Austin demands. "It hurts? How about you drink a smoothie? Would that be okay?"

I shake my head. Drinking also hurts.

"Yes, that is okay. Come on, you'll drink a smoothie." He insists and stands up.

I sigh and roll my eyes. I can't eat. I'm too nauseous and in too much pain.

"Lie down. I'm getting you a smoothie." Austin says and then hurries out the room.

Noah is dead. His corpse is lying somewhere, slowly rotting because of me.

That's all I can think about.

Fuck. His face was beaten so badly. Mine is too, but I'm not a cold fucking corpse.

The wound on the side of his head was brutal. Was that really Adam? Was he aware of what he was doing? Does he even realize what he did? He seemed way too focused. Hell, even I was way too focused. We should have panicked, we should have called the police.

My heart is beating so fast. It might jump out of my chest. It's my fault that Noah doesn't exist anymore.

I want my fucking phone back. I wanna be able to communicate with Adam and Dylan. This is so fucking stressing.

What if the police find Noah? What happens then? What if they go through camera footage and realize it's not Noah?

I assisted murder. That's what I did. I helped get rid of evidence, helped lay out a fake trace. I'm a criminal.

I stand up, slowly, and then walk to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I lean over the sink and stare at my ugly reflection. Noah did this to me. He beat me without fearing the consequences. He had the intention to kill me. I shouldn't feel bad for him.

Why is this guilt weighing me down when guilt never seemed to affect Noah at all?

"Sammy, hey, are you okay?" Austin asks me from the other side of the door.

"Yes." I wanna yell, but it comes out barely above a whisper.

"What did you say?" Austin asks.

"Shower." I answer.