How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 107: court day is dissociation day

Court is a disaster. At least that's what it feels like.

First of all, I didn't get a single second of sleep. I don't feel concentrated at all and feel like throwing up.

I have to tell them what happened. Every detail. I get asked about each damn detail. I don't even think about it, I just answer.

The trial isn't as private as the preliminary hearing. At least 30 people hear what I have to say. Noah's parents are also here. They're crying throughout the entire process, making me feel incredibly guilty.

To make matters worse Dean and Adam are also here. Why? I don't know.

I say everything that happened. Whenever I get asked questions I answer them as truthful as I can.

When they ask me if I know where Noah could be I gulp nervously. My hands, forehead and armpits are already more than sweaty, but I'm sure it just got significantly worse.

"All I know is that he probably left the town and he hasn't contacted me since then." I explain.

No one seems to doubt what I say, but it feels like I'm the one being accused of a crime, the one they wanna put behind bars.

When I'm nervous my brain doesn't work as usual. I can't think straight. I answer mostly how I memorized it, no room for thoughts.

It takes three hours for all the witnesses to be called in and for the defense to give their side.

After that there is a break in which the jury makes a decision.

We wait and wait and then wait some more.

And then we finally get a result.

Noah is sentenced to 27 fucking years. That's more than just a little. I almost feel bad, but then remember he's fucking dead anyways. He could have gotten 1 year or 100 years, it doesn't even matter. What matter is that what I said is believed to be true and that makes me feel a little better.

Noah, or more like his family, has to pay for the court costs and I get compensation. There will be an investigation to search for Noah, which makes me a little nervous.

All in all, it all almost went a little too smoothly, but I won't complain.

As we all leave the building I expect to feel good. But no, I feel miserable. Again. I swear my emotions switch every damn second. I feel like I killed him and on top of that destroyed how others look at him. I killed his reputation.

"Come on, let's all go eat together to celebrate." Caleb suggests as we gather outside.

My parents look at me and I shake my head. No one is really in the mood to celebrate. We drive home and I don't feel like talking. I'm in the car with my parents while Caleb drives Carla and Austin home. My aunt and uncle are here, but luckily they decide to drive home right after.

"I'm going to sleep." I announce as we enter our house.

"Don't you wanna eat something?" Mom asks.

I shake my head and head upstairs.

_____

Wrong. It all feels wrong. Why am I not relieved it's over? Why do I feel so bad?

I roll up under my blanket and just close my eyes. Maybe I can sleep. Maybe I'll wake up, feeling better.

After ten minutes my bedroom door opens and someone lies down in bed next to me.

"Hey." Austin says with a soft voice.

"I thought you'd go home." I say confused.

"I wanted to be here." He says. "If that's okay for you."