How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 169: Never trust an addict

"Hi, babe! Why do you have Nora's bag?" Austin says with a wide smile as I walk up to him. He frowns. "Are you okay?"

I spent the last few minutes crying behind one of the buildings. Why? Because I felt like a failure and lonely and like an outsider and like I can't ever enjoy a party and have fun without needing drugs.

I cried like a fool while I stared at the glass jar filled with emotional relief.

And on top of everything I felt betrayed by Dylan and Nora of course.

I nod my head. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Austin asks.

I shrug. How am I supposed to tell him what happened? "I just feel really out of place." I admit. "And I don't enjoy being here."

"Why? You know so many people here." Austin reminds me.

"Everyone's scattered somewhere and everyone's drunk and high." I point out.

Austin nods his head. "You wanna go home?"

I shrug.

"Okay, how about you search for Kev and Nora and I wait here for you and then we go home." Austin suggests. "I really wanna catch up with a few people for a bit longer."

He doesn't wanna go and I'm killing the mood. Great.

"Yeah, whatever." I say and turn away.

I should feel proud that I threw this damn glass jar in the bushes and left. I should be happy with my discipline. But I can't think about anything but going back there, searching for it and getting high on its content.

It's almost two in the morning and I'm freaking tired.

"Sammy." Austin calls out to stop me from walking away. "You didn't do drugs, right?"

I laugh dryly. "No, I did not." He did.

"Are you sure?" He asks me.

"I am sure. Why ask me if you doubt my answer?"

"Sorry, yeah, sorry, I'm proud of you." He tells me with a sweet smile. "So damn proud of you. Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you? You're doing so great."

How I didn't realize that he's high before is a miracle to me. He usually doesn't talk like that.

Everyone gets high. Everyone but me. Isn't that unfair? It is incredibly unfair!

I just wanna get high. Just for a bit. I just feel incredibly angry and annoyed at all those people's privilege to drink and do drugs.

"Sammy, I love you. You know that, right? I love you so damn much." Austin says. "Did you know that when I first-"

His dramatic love confession gets interrupted as a girl calls his name and hugs him. Yay. Angela is also here. Just when I thought I couldn't have a more perfect night, she shows up.

Her perfume hits me in the face like a punch. She has no business smelling good when I probably just smell horrible. She also has no business wearing a cool 90s outfit.

Austin smiles and hugs her back as a greeting. I don't hesitate any longer and just walk away.

Fuck this. Fuck everyone here.

I know I can trust Austin. Well, actually I don't know that, but I try to. It just angers me that he's still friends with her.

On the other hand I'm also friends with Adam. But fuck Adam.

I find the others in the crowd. Caleb and Carla are busy doing couple stuff. They're making out on a couch outside. I roll my eyes as I turn around to search for the rest. Kev is busy making new friends, still talking to Lisa and other random people.