How To Stay Afloat (BxB)

Chapter 87: there go the taxes

I stay curled up with Austin's arms around me for a long time. My crying has stopped, but I'm far from okay, so we just stay like that for even longer.

Austin's protecting arms feel so good around me. But all this stupid fear and anger and nausea is inside of me and that's something he can't protect me from and I have to face myself.

But his presence is still soothing.

The others are all waiting for me. I can hear them talk downstairs. From what I could hear Ann is in Caleb's room alone, looking through the videos probably.

Caleb, Adam, Dean, mom and Ann's dad are probably all downstairs, coming up with plans on what we do next.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to Austin and roll over to lie on my back.

He looks at me with so much kindness and understanding. He also looks at me worriedly. I don't wanna worry him. I wanna be fine and not break down over a stupid video. I lived through it, why do I react like that just because I saw it on video? Why did the older video make me so uncomfortable when I already got over everything?

I'm so pathetic.

"I'm here for you if you wanna talk." Austin says.

"Nah. I feel better now." I say, trying my best to sound convincing and like this whole thing doesn't get to me ta all. Which is stupid, considering I just whaled for like ten minutes.

"Do you think you're ready to walk downstairs and talk to everyone?" He asks me.

I groan. I will probably never be ready for that.

"Yeah. I just wanna wash my face and put on clean clothes first." I tell him.

I sit up and look at Austin. He's wearing this encouraging smile.

I don't care how I look. Probably like shit. Probably worse than that. My eyes are probably really swollen and puffy.

It's 8 already. I don't even know if you can make a report at the police this late. Maybe we have to wait until tomorrow?

I sigh and stand up. I grab a sweater from my closet and walk to the bathroom where I wash my face with ice cold water, brush my teeth and change into clean clothes.

"Hey, are you okay?" Caleb asks, popping his head in.

Do I look okay?

"Yeah." I tell him, looking away from my reflection, at him.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asks carefully.

I smile. "Talk with you? No thanks."

He rolls his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asks me.

I'm sure I'm not okay, but I guess it could be worse.

"Yeah. Of course." I say and walk over towards him. "Let's go downstairs."

Austin is waiting for me behind Caleb.

I can hear sniffles in Caleb's room and consider asking Ann if she's alright. But I don't even know her. I'm the wrong person to be there for her. Maybe Dean or her dad could comfort her better.

We walk downstairs where the others are waiting in the living room, everyone seemingly upset.

"Is Ann still looking at the videos?" Her dad asks us.

"Maybe you wanna go talk to her?" I suggest hesitantly.

He nods and walks upstairs.

Mom comes over to hug me. "Are you alright?" She asks.