Sweetest Deception

Chapter 89

Keep As Long As It Lasts

RHEILA'S POV

"Happy new year."

Mapait na lang akong napangiti habang nakatingin sa mga ulap na nababalutan na ngayon ng mga fireworks. Iba't ibang kulay ang matatanaw mula sa itaas at kasabay nito ay ang pagngiti ko habang may namumuo na namang luha sa mga mata ko.

Bakit ba ganito? Kada mapapatulala at wala akong magawa, napasok siya sa isip ko. Pinipigilan ko naman 'yong sarili kong hindi siya maalala pero wala, e, paulit-ulit lang siyang bumabalik sa isip ko. Ngayon ay New Year, ilang taon din naming cinelebrate 'to ng magkasama kaya naman parang nangungulila ako sa kaniya.

Masakit syempre, ilang taon ba naman kayong magkasama't magkakilala tapos mawawala lang bigla dahil sa mga kasinungalingan. Masaya kaya siya ngayon? Naaalala niya kaya ako? Iniisip niya rin ba ako?

Minahal niya ba talaga 'ko?

Ang sakit naman. Araw-araw, lalong sumasakit. Hindi yata uso sa akin 'yong move-on na tinatawag nila. Pinipilit ko naman, e, kaso parang hindi ko kaya. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at tumingin sa mga ulap. Pumikit ako sandali at inisip na nandito siya sa tabi ko.

Knowing that nothing will ever happen as we expected makes it all seem so surreal to me. We used to make promises to one another, but one day they will all be for nothing. I honestly loved him and wished to spend the entire rest of my life with him, but it appears that won't be the reality. All I have of him are memories, and they are all I'll ever have of him. I only hope the next person he meets treats him just as well as I did, if not better.

I hope he will genuinely love the person he marries and have a happy life with them, creating even better memories than we did together. All I'll have left of us are the memories. I wish it hadn't had to end to this. He was my soul lover, my closest friend, and my other half. I love him dearly, and now that he's gone, I'm in terrible pain.

I regret that this is how it will end now that he is just a stranger or nobody, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I gave him all of my love, and he gave it everything to me, but God didn't plan this for us. He will always have my heart, and yet I simply hope he gets the world because that's what he deserves. I wished it forever and I still want to have it. I am aware of his great suffering, and I wish him nothing but the best.

I tried to offer him almost everything, including my entire heart, and I still do today, but there will come a day when I am unable to do so because somebody else will fill the void left by me in his life and provide him happiness. Everything about him made me fall in love, including his smile, his mannerisms and laughter. As I've mentioned already, I wish he achieves all the things he has ever desired that I was unable to provide for him.

I felt like my life was wanting something. Prior to actually meeting him, I had no idea who it was. Having him completes my existence. He is absolutely everything to me, yet it is now time to say goodbye and go back to being by myself.

I loved you, Lucas.

I had no idea how important you are to me when we first started talking. I still feel the same amount of love for you today as I did the day we initially met. I want you to know how much you matter to me and how grateful I am for you. Ever since you entered my life, I have been the happiest. From the bottom of my heart, I will cherish every memory we shared together.