My life in Yokohama (Bsdxreader)

Chapter 49

And with that we were ready to strike . Atsushi's combat ability and my manipulation could work well . TigerKittyBoy could strike him and then al I need is to hold Fitzgerald's arm and command him to stay down .
Easy .
Not !
The moment Atsushi jumped in he received a huge hit sending him flying again .
- Shit - I yelled out . The blond man then turned to me .
- You are not why I'm here - and with that he literally knocked me out .
Everything went black .

I have no idea how long I was out . I woke up in the infirmary at the Agency . It took me about a minute to gain full consciousness, Ranpo and Dazai were sitting by my bed .
- Atsushi, Where is he ? - I asked .
- Y/ N - Dazai started in a low tone .
- Fitzgerald, he showed up , I wanted to fight , I ... , And then ... Atsushi , and I ... where is he ? Is he okay ?
- Y/ N - The bandaged maniac interrupted now a bit harsher - Listen , it's a miracle you got out of this alive , Atsushi is taken , Kyouka is taken by military as well .
- What ? Kyouka ? Atsushi? What ? - I started shaking .
- Calm down - Dazai held onto my hand .
Ranpo then went ahead and filled me in . I received a hit , lost consciousness and blacked out . The force of the hit was supposed to kill me . Kyouka showed up but got taken into custody. Atsushi got taken by the Guild . It all went down yesterday, I was out for a whole day . Yosano has treated me 3 times , which thankfully I have no memory of .
- I'm useless , every time , I do nothing . I'm useless - I broke down crying . Why ? Why can't I fight ? Why is it that I can never be of use ?
Ranpo said nothing , he sat on my bed and just patted my head .
Dazai squeezed my hand . I couldn't see his expression from my tears . I'm sure it was just full with disappointment.
- Atsushi , he , it's my fault ! I couldn't protect him , I can't protect anyone , I'm useless .
- Ranpo , I will take her home , please go now . - The brunette looked at the detective.
- Hm - he muttered as a reply and stood up to leave .
- Y/N ! Stop ! - Dazai's voice broke the silence- You aren't useless , what you are is reckless . What did you think going up against Fitzgerald?!
- I - I wanted to do something for once !
- Everyone has their strengths, yours isn't close combat , and you know that .
- Yess, but I couldn't just do nothing .
- Maybe it would have been better , however, you are not useless . Atsushi being taken also isn't your fault . You couldn't have done anything in that situation. Stop crying. Get yourself together. There are many things only you can do . - And with that he wipes off my face . Then held my cheeks , and brought his face closer to mine . His lips brushed over mine softly .
Then he stood up , and helped me up as well .
- Let's go home . - he said .

At home I haven't really said much , I took care of my pets , and decided to cook . I just needed to do something. So far there weren't any plans in action as to what we are going to do to get Tigerboy back . I felt guilty , like it's my fault that he got taken , and Kyouka , Dazai told me that's highly likely they will execute her .
If I wasn't keeping busy , I'm sure I gonna have a full on breakdown.
After I was done with dinner , I set a plate down for my housemate , and I went to clean out the whole bathroom. I wasn't hungry , and honestly we kept the place clean so the bathroom didn't need cleaning . But I just needed to do something.
A couple hours later Dazai dragged me outside for a walk with Lily . By then I deep cleaned and completely rearranged everything in the bathroom.
He took the leash , and my hand and we just walked . None of us said anything. It wasn't a long walk , I guess he just wanted to get some fresh air himself .
Once we got back home , I got the online , I wanted to remake the bedroom , so both of us can use it and the living room will be just a living room . I ordered my self a futon , and some shelves and 3 clothing racks . They all will be arriving with next day delivery tomorrow, so after work I have time to get it done . Was it the right time to do all this ? No . But I just need to do whatever in order to not think .

I didn't sleep that night . I said goodnight to Dazai and went to my room . I couldn't sleep . I cried , just cried all night .

- Y/ N , Good morning . - Dazai greeted me when I went to bathroom in the morning . - I just talked to the President, you are staying home today . Isn't it great ? You have your whole day off !
- Good morn... wait what ? No ! No ! No ! I can't , I can't stay home , I need to work . At least at the office itself I'm useful . I have to ...
The bandaged idiot stood up and grabbed my shoulders slightly shaking me .
- You have been through a lot , plus you were out for a while day . You need a little time to recover .
- No ! I have to go ! We have to , Atsushi ...
- That's enough ! Atsushi can handle himself, he will be back in no time . I'm leaving now , I would like to spend the day with you but I have to do some things .
- Dazai , I -
- Naomi will come over , she has the day off too .
With that he left , I took a deep breath , dressed up and took Lily outside . I ran into Kunikida in the yard .
- Good morning - we greeted each other .
The blond man gave me a kind look .
- Make sure you rest , you will be needed in the office  tomorrow.
I simply nodded and saw him off .
Once I got back from the walk everyone left , except Naomi . She came to our dorm with some coffee , and we just chatted for a while .