The funhouse of murder • Stray Kids X reader

44 ☠️

"Why don't we keep walking in the meantime? I think we both might be talking for quite some time, best we get moving during it," Chan suggested, taking the lead. His hand got placed on my lower back, lightly urging me to go along with him, which wasn't too hard, automatically trying to avoid his touch anyways. His fingertips occasionally grazed over my shirt when I was starting to fall behind, but I'd always be soon to get back up to tempo. The way so far was quiet, but just like me, he was probably trying to find the right way to tell his tale.

"Have you ever heard of a savior complex?" Chan finally started, purposely looking everywhere but at me. "I... can't say I have to be honest," I answered him, more reserved than before. It suddenly felt a lot more serious, seeing how we both probably never told anyone before. It actually felt embarrassing. Especially for him maybe, since explaining something you'd rather not talk about is even worse than just saying it. "Basically... to put it shortly, it's when someone wants to constantly save others or make others feel better, even if it means putting them before you... in some cases, people with the savior complex even purposely put others in danger to be able to 'save them'".

Wasn't hard to guess where this was coming from. Especially given his will to lead everyone, he probably wants to be able to save us all. Where better to do so than a place filled with danger. "So that's why you joined, huh," I muttered out, him too probably knowing his reasoning after the explanation. Chan put his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, looking to the ground. "It wasn't always like this though, I guess it was someone I developed after this one incident. Before that I used to be a pretty normal kid." I couldn't even really imagine what could make someone become so obsessed with helping others, but it certainly sparked my curiosity.

"What happened?" I decided to ask after some hesitating, unsure whether it was too personal or still okay to ask. He could always just not answer it if he doesn't want to, after all. A small smile finally appeared on his face when I finally took a glance at him. "It's already from a long time ago, but there was a young girl stuck under a lot of debree. Apparently am old building had collapsed on her, so I slowly lifted it all off her. Took quite the while, and my hands were covered in blood when the adults finally found us. I even got covered in the news for it. Got praised for it so much, day in day out, that it eventually got normal, and when things died down, I actually began to miss all the praise. And so, it all began I guess."

A lump was stuck in my throat. I couldn't even breathe anymore, my legs now wobbling, barely able to walk on them. Chan's fingertips once more touched my back, his entire hand now soon on it as his pace by far surpassed mine. That was him? He was the one who got me out? He was the one that both simultanously saved me and trapped me in a much worse situation? My face was starting to tingle as the tears were streaming down. Had he not gotten me out of there, maybe dad wouldn't have found me after my escape. Maybe then I would have just passed away already instead of living through the worsened torture.

"Y/N?" Chan asked, only then showing me that I had completely stopped moving. "What's wrong?" I couldn't even utter a word. For years, I had thought that maybe it would have been better if I just stayed there until my last breath, each day, part of me had blamed him for it. And here I was, next to him again. Right after, as soon as I got back home, out of the hospital, things got even worse. I don't think I had ever gotten hit so many times, until nearly my entire body had been beaten blue. I couldn't even move for a week after that. And the so called hero? Wasn't allowed to meet me, or anyone else for that matter. My only plan of escape had resulted in something far worse than I had experienced before.

"That... that was me," I managed to get out. My vision was starting to become blurry, as breathing was getting harder and harder. Chan grew quiet, his body frozen to the spot. "I always wondered what happened after," he muttered. And then, the switch flipped. All of the fear, all of the blame had turned into rage and anger. "What happened was that for the rest of my life, I lived in captivity, in fear if I'd live through the night. I was starved, assaulted, beaten, used, you name it and it happened. If only I had died right then, right there, I wouldn't have been in this place to begin with!"

My fist flew up, about to hit him, yet instead caught by Chan's hand. "Is that why you joined? Because of me?" I groaned, trying to pull my hand out of his. "Let's just say that if you had let me die, I the abuse would have been over. Instead, living became worse than dying." The tears stopped abruptly, seeing as they were now evident on Chan's face. "So I never saved you to begin with?" He cursed loudly, now squeezing my hand harder and harder in frustration.

"If only we never met that day, maybe then we would have both gotten what we wanted."