MY ANGEL IN THE DARK | FREEN'BECKY | COMPLETED

110

Octagon Club, New Year' Eve.

Tonight is New Year's Eve and I'm performing in Octagon Club, one of the biggest VIP clubs in Seoul. It's not a lie to say that it is on of the biggest shows I have ever joined.

I will perform some dance songs and the Happy New Year - Black Label Remix. I have practiced these songs and I find myself loving these party songs. Since my debut, I've barely had a chance to sing songs like these so I'm curious about how the audience reacts.

From the stage, I watch the whole crowd get hyped with the music and. This is absolutely a confidence boosters. For the first time on stage, I feel like I'm free to join the crowd and show myself as well as let myself drown with music. I love the feeling, the way the sweat runs along my face, down my neck while I sing. I love seeing the face of people get excited and happy, smiles plastered on their face. To compare with some sad songs I have been singing, the feeling is really different.

I used to hate performing in a club, but deep down inside, I grew up in clubs since my mother always took me to clubs watching her perform. I hate it and love it at the same time. Right now, the loving part is taking over, this moment is somehow a moment to live for. Like I have been upset for so long and now I'm finally happy.

Walking down the stage, back to the waiting room, Taeyang is already standing and smiling at me.

- You have done a great job! The performance is overall great!

I don't expect Taeyang to say this, since he has always told me that my voice suits the ballad and sad core songs. He is my vocal trainers, my manager so I listen to him though sometimes I don't really like the idea.  Okay, not sometimes, it's a lot of time.

- thank you. - I smile sweetly at him.

- You are such a talent. I'm so proud of you.

I feel touched at his word. Taeyang barely gives out compliments like this.

As much as I want to stay, I decided t should spend the new Year's Eve with Ritchie, so I will leave while Taeyang and some of the support dancers in my performance stay and celebrate together.

I walk out the corridor tending to call an Uber but I can't find my phone. Maybe I left it in the waiting room. I walk back. The door of the waiting room is open, the music stops for a while since it's a break between two songs and the Dj is playing something low notes as a bridge.

Taeyang and the Dancers do not acknowledge my coming back when I walk inside, eyes scanning the room for my phone.

- Did you see her on stage? - A dancer speaks up. - The way she swayed her hips and walked. I feel like she was trying to seduce all of the audience.

I'm curious who they are talking about.

- Her performance was one of the worst. I didn't even feel like it from it's very first moment, it's just too sensual. - Taeyang is speaking while my eyes still scan the room carefully until a name's caught my attention. - Becky's just not born for that kind of music. I felt sick watching her dance.

- Oh! It's not that bad!

- Yeah. It's that bad!

I hold my breath and walk back to the corridor. 5 minutes later, I bang the door open a little too lousy, avoiding Taeyang's eyes, I ask whether someone sees my phone. I find it on the table where they are drinking. Taking my phone, I fake a smile and bid goodbyes.

Leaning in the car window, I thought about how cruel the life is. A person who told you you are such a talent and he even complimented your work, but actually he was just acting. The worst is that you have thought that you can trust him. Actually you have been trusting your career which you have given up a lot of great, important things in your life for him. And then one day you found out he was such a liar.

How sad is that? How painful is that?

But I just can't cry anymore. I just can't shout at anymore. I just can't blame anyone. I have stepped in the game and there is nothing I can complain about. All I can do is fight, fight and fight. There is no turning back. If I turn back right now, I will lose everything, and everything I'm losing right now will be for nothing. There is the only way ahead, moving forward and fight with my best.

Scars and wound, tears and sweat.

They are all prices.

Raising from the negatives, pain, hurt, losing trust and losing hope, I force myself to stay strong and start to have control over my own career . It's finally my career and I'm not letting other people drive it anymore. Not him. Not any other people.

It's for all or nothing.

__________

The Black Label' HQ

- you want to re-branding your image? You don't want to sing ballad songs anymore? And you want to work with other managers in the company?

I nod firmly with a yes. Teddy looks at me with disbelief.

- How did you come up with the idea?

- I don't come up with it. It's just me and I think it's time for me to Really do what I enjoy and what I think suits me most.

Teddy takes his glasses odd as he messages his nose bridge. After a few seconds, he speaks up with a small smile.

- it's about time actually. I already found you a new manage and I think you will like her and work well her too. it's about time!

Closing the door after me, I just couldn't believe that u had spend 5 sleepless nights thinking about how to persuade Teddy while he just agreed with me after 5 minutes of discussing and informing me about Jin Ah - My new manager who will start working here in February.

Blinking my eyes for a couple of time, I wipe away the confusion and with determination, I bet all I have in this battle.

_______

The Black Label's Dorm

It's my birthday. I'm getting old. And I'm not really looking forward to my birthday since it somehow hurts me to know that Freen
Sarocha no longer sends me anything. I don't need expensive gifts from her, a bunch of fresh flowers or a small cake is okay. Just like that old day. I remember I always looked for special days to open her gifts or to take photos with flowers she sent over. Something simple like these could make my day.

Last night, Rosé called, around 22 am, and she wished me a happy birthday as she asked me out for dinner with Lalisa today. Freen isn't in Korea.

I said Yes. How can I say No to Rosé?

I walked down the first floor since I knew there will be gifts some of my fans will leave near the mailbox. I hold the bunch of  Tulips first to see who sent me this.

To my surprise, the name in the card is none other than Freen Sarocha.

HELLO EVERYONE! I THINK SOME OF YOU THINKING THIS STORY IS GOING TO BE BORING. HYS BUT STILL THANKYOU FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO STILL SILENTLY READING MY STORY.

LOVE YOU NA KHA!💖