FreenBecky Diary
Day...
To talk about affection, I have been always questioning, how a total stranger person can love a person that much? Like the affection from a fan to his/her idol.
How?
How did we start giving all of our attention for someone and how did we want to spend the rest of our live with someone?
How?
She.
How did the love and the affection start?
How did all the magical feeling in the chest appear?
And I have been thinking about her all the time.
Is she thinking about me?
I miss her. Even though she ignores me. I just want to be around. Seeing her and do nothing, or working together, purely just work.
Watching her, seeing her, working with her kinda a blessing. Her face when she focuses, her parting lips, her cute nose, her big brown eyes and pinky cheeks, hair in the ear, long neck, slender fingers typing in the laptop, her eyes when she looks at me.
She smells like flowers, rain, forest, wood, tea, lavender and whisky. It's strange. Or I am?
I miss her already, always.
Today I supposed to have a museum date with her. But she called and informed that she had an urgent meeting with a client and she wouldn't come. So I went to museum anyway. Alone. And locking myself in a corner of a milk tea shop by the museum. Wishing she is here.
Maybe I should call, and ask if I can help. Or maybe I shouldn't.
The harder I try to be close to her, the colder she acts. And it could weaken any strong heart by thinking about the constant rejection. I am just talking about myself.
Day...
She has flight back to California this morning. She is gone.
Day...
It's been three days that I haven't met her yet.
Day...
It's more than a week already. I cried the other night. She might not come back.
Ritchie called me. He had to take a three-hour bus to go the telephone bo to make a phone call since the ashram he is living doesn't have phones and internet. He told me that I'm going too fast and I haven't thought of her and her feeling.
Do I really understand all the pain, all the cause of her insecurities? Have I been on her shoes?
Am I selfish when I push too much and ignore all of her feelings?
Have I ever asked her and tried to talk about it?
Freen, I miss you. Please come back.
Day...
It's been more than two weeks. They said that she hasn't had plan to come back to Europe yet. I'm left alone here, in her office, taking care of clients and partners.
The feeling of losing someone we love the most, we need the most, we appreciate the most.
Does she love me? Does she need me?
I'm not sure anymore.
She might not love me anymore.
She surely doesn't need me.
______
She comes back today. Still gorgeous. She is wearing her favorite black blazer, pants, shirt and heels. Her smell doesn't change, still the same.
She asked me how I have been doing. I said work are all good. She might ask about my personal well-being. But I might overthink, she only cares about work.
She is sitting right there, gold glasses hanging on the bridge of her nose. Her slender fingers hold on the folder of the reports, short nails, pink skin, golden rings, golden watch. A perfect face that I always want to caress. And I am here, writhing about when I myself have a lot of ask but do not dare to start it up.
Marble I should stand up and make her a cup of tea.
YOU ARE READING
MY ANGEL IN THE DARK | FREEN'BECKY | COMPLETED
FanfictionDo I really understand all the pain, all the cause of her insecurities? Have I been on her shoes? Am I selfish when I push too much and ignore all of her feelings? Have I ever asked her and tried to talk about it? Freen, I miss you. Please come ba...
