Amir lays in his bed curled up, his hair all over the place from him running his hand through it, him being under the covers. He tries to hold in his tears, he tries to say to just be strong and don't let them escape, that tears won't help. Last night he barely got any sleep, him just thinking of the events and pretty much the worst Monday he has ever had in his life so far.
But he doesn't listen to that, he just lets the tears escape him. He doesn't feel like trying to hold him in so he just wets his pillows with tears. He feels...disgusting, he feels like a complete idiot, one mistake caused all of this and it is all his fault and he hates the way it feels. He doesn't want to be a play boy, he doesn't want to be a jock or that jerky guy all the girls know not to go around because he is breaker of hearts, he doesn't want to be that way.
He thinks back at Stephanie's face when he was explaining himself to her, the hurt in her eyes and the tears returning back to her eyes just that he saw countless times before. Granted he doesn't know Stephanie, he only knows of her since they have so many class periods together they were never friends but they talked a lot when they came up with the little mutual agreement for her to watch over Amberlee and Ryder while he did his assignments they had together early, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that he hurt her.
Amir doesn't want to hurt anyone, he doesn't want to be that kind of person. He wants to be the nice person that everyone feels like they can talk to, he wants to be that person everyone feels that they can approach. He still feels as guilty as ever, with Nancy and with Stephanie. He tries to figure out how the hell he is going to fix this, he tries to figure out what he can do to make it better. With Nancy it is hard, when she gets mad she gets livid and it makes it hard to talk to her. Whereas with Stephanie when she gets mad or sad she backs off, she closes up, and she doesn't bother saying anything to Amir when he is talking to her.
Either way he tells himself that he needs to fix it, that somehow he is going to have to figure out a way to talk to Nancy and especially Stephanie. He tells himself that he will make things right with the both of them, he tells himself that he would do anything at this point, and if that means him getting home from school and being insanely bored until he goes to sleep then so be it, he will do anything because he hates this feeling that he has inside of him, he has never felt it before and he wants it to go away.
He hears a knock at the door, making him look up. "Yes?"
"Amir?" Summer questions through the door.
Amir quickly wipes his eyes, him making his way out of the bed and opening the door, Summer looking up at him. "Hey flower. How was the ice cream?"
Summer looks up at him, her face turning a little sad. "It was good, I got strawberry."
Amir smiles at her. "Pretty good flavor huh? Did you like it more than chocolate?"
"I like chocolate better." She giggles.
"Of course you do." He lightly laughs.
"Why were you and mommy fighting last night?" Summer questions while looking up at him.
Amir sighs for a little bit, her going to hold her arms out for him. He smiles while picking her up, going to close the door behind him. He sits down at the edge of the bed, putting Summer on his lap. "It was my fault, I made a mistake."
"A mistake?" Summer questions.
"Yeah, and now I have to fix that mistake." Amir answers.
"Why are you sad?" Summer questions.
Amir smiles softly at her. "Unfortunately the mistake made me sad flower, but it's okay, I'll fix it."
"I can help." Summer mentions with a smile.
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After the Fall
FanfictionStory takes place after Dear Family (read that before this if you haven't already) It's been a year and after the War of 1987 Max has finally awoken from her coma. Follow Lucas and Max and the party on their road of recovery has they have moments o...