Paranoid - PhanFiction

Chapter #15

(POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING and by the way, you won't like this chapter, heheeh).

*DANS POV*

I wake up to a loud knock on the door and turn my head to check the time.

11:27pm.

Who the crap is at our dorm door at 11 at night!?

I smile to Phil as I lift his arms off of my waist and make my way to the door. I brace myself for who could be there.

A murderer? A wild beast ready to eat me alive? So many things. I try not to over think and I open the door and as soon as I do, I regret it. I regret it so much. I honestly regret my life. (A/N: *cough* Brooke *cough* remind you of *cough* anyone *cough* sorrynotsorry*)

Pj.

Pj is at my door.

Without thinking my hand automatically swings up and bashes Pj in the face and I chuckle when I realized what I just did. I mean, he deserved it.

I honestly didn't have any control over it.
My brain told me to do it before I could process what it told me to do.

"OW! What the-" He shouted, dropping what seemed to be MY pills from his hand. "Are those my freakin' pills?!" I shouted and pushed him to the wall and picked the pills from the floor. "Yeah! Chris stole them so I brought them back, God.." He mumbled the last part. "And why'd he do that?" I grumbled. "I honestly don't know and I'm sorry if I woke you." He mumbled and starting walking off.

I part of me didn't want him to go, and another told me to go hug him and don't let him go, but I just couldn't because I love Phil.

But before I could even process what was happening I was up against the hallway walls making out with Pj Liguori.

I don't exactly know who made this happen but I was and wasn't enjoying it.

When I realized what was happening I pushed him back. "I don't want the same lips that were slobbering all over Jack Howard's on mine, you pig." And with that I shut the door, closed it and ran into my room, sobbing.

The images I thought were gone forever came back and I sobbed. Sobbed for hours and couldn't stop.

I took pills. So many pills to stop it, but it only got worse. I tried to scream for Phil but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I felt sick to my stomach and the worst headache in the universe. I pulled at my hair, scratched at my body.

I couldn't even make a sound, all I could do was roll on the bed and cry. I wanted my mom. My dad. Someone.

I regretted everything. I kissed Pj. I let myself get this way. What is Phil going to say when he finds out I kissed Pj? I could loose Phil and I never want that to ever happen.

So many thoughts in my brain that it hurt.
It felt like every thought in my mind was bumping around in my brain. (A/N: I hope you all pictured what I pictured or that's just awkward)

I punched the wall a couple times and smashed my head through the wall. I look like an animal on a ram page who got rabies.

After a while I blacked out because of the amount of pills I had taken earlier and somehow I seemed to still see monsters floating around in the darkness.