Paranoid - PhanFiction

Chapter #48

*PHILS POV*

The next day I found myself sitting in the same booth as yesterday, sipping my drink, waiting to see Dan.

Even though I knew it was impossible.

I sat tapping my fingers when a tall, brown haired boy with dark, but beautiful brown eyes to match walked in.

It took my breath away.

It's like I fell in love all over again.

The hallucinations with Chris weren't near this real.

My heart was beating and I was freaking out. Was this the ghost of Dan? What was going on?!

I found myself staring and soon, he finally noticed.

His eyes widened as he went pale.

He definitely looked like a ghost after that.

As the woman was handing him a drink, he was already out of the place. He bolted. I had never seen someone run so freaking fast in my life.

My breath was caught in my throat and I looked out the window to see him peaking in at me and disappeared out of sight when he noticed I noticed.

My eyes were going to pop out of my head. I stood up, and walked out to search for him.

He wasn't anywhere to be seen.

This was the most weirdest hallucination I've ever had.

I got back into my car and drove home.

Once I arrived home, I just lied on my bed and thought about my day.

I tried closing my eyes but I just couldn't, knowing Dan might still be alive...

Agh... No he's not. Dan's dead.. Has been for three years which is 26 297.438 hours if you're counting.

I sighed and tried to sleep that night but ended up binge eating while watching Whip It at three am, five times because it reminded me of the time Dan and I cuddled up on the couch, eating and falling asleep in one another's warm embrace.

I didn't think I would get like this again. The first two months of Dan being gone, I spent my nights crying and praying for him to come back. I broke three lamps, two glass cups, one plate, and most of my plant vases when I was having mental breakdowns every night.

I couldn't admit it to myself that he was actually gone. I couldn't comprehend it.

I didn't want to.

When he left, a part of myself went with him.

It got better over the years and I was happy, very happy. I was proud of myself for staying alive and believing in myself and to stop blaming myself for Dan's death.

I knew it was just his time and I was just going to have to live with it. Even when times get hard and I just want to see him again, I have to stay strong because I know he wouldn't want me to be sad for eternity.

But it's just so hard...

-
The next morning I woke from hearing the door bell ring.

I jolted up, hearing crisps crunch under me and crisp bags as well.

I groaned.

I got up and trudged up to the door. Not bothering to look or ask to see who it was I just swung it open, causing it to hit my big toe.

I gasped in pain and grabbed my toe.

When I opened my eyes the last person I expected to see at my door was right there.