Dan was cooped up in a shitty house which appeared to be falling apart. He hadn't gotten any sleep last night because he was, you guessed it, partying his issues away.
Dan knew it wasn't right to leave Phil but he wanted to live this life. He chose it and he will have to pay for what he's done in the future.
Dan's already fucked up so I mean, what's a couple hundred more times gonna do? Probably kill him but he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing could harm him but he doesn't care anymore. He's lost hope in everything and realization hit him that he is a bad person.
Unlike Phil, he hasn't blocked these bad things out of his mind because they've been eating at his brain and pulling at his heart strings.
He remembers every time he cheated on Phil, he remembers every single time he lied about going to rehab, he remembers every single time he took a swig of beer, took drugs and ran away.
He realized he has got to stop lying to himself. He does not love Phil. He just doesn't anymore and he knew that for quite some time now.
Dan likes to get a rise out of people. He has got issues and he is fucked up.
He knows what he's done but he's too coward to fix it.
But can you blame him? Look at what he's done.
YOU ARE READING
Paranoid - PhanFiction
FanfictionDan Howell has terrible night terrors that don't seem to be subsiding, but when his parents send him off to college in hopes that things get better for him, things only sadly, get horribly worse. *This fic is so cringe worthy. It's a huge mess. It...
