Paranoid - PhanFiction

Paranoid Sequel: Chapter One

SURPRISE BITCHES!

due to many requests and thinking, i've decided to attempt to write a sequel to paranoid, again. i feel quite attached to this fic since it was the first one i'd ever posted, and the only one i had ever finished. this is completely my decision, i'm not being forced or anything, i don't feel pressured. i feel like i have a pretty good plot for this sequel but i don't know how much i'll update so please be patient with me. any questions, i'll be happy to answer.

i hope you enjoy!

tw; self harm ? blood, beer.

-

'Things are getting to be too much again...'  Dan thought to himself as he took a swing of beer.

The doctor's advised Dan to stop drinking any alcoholic beverages completely and, he'd been clean for a year but, times were getting tough and one beer wouldn't hurt, would it?

Phil wasn't home, he didn't have to know. It'd be Dan's dirty little secret.

Phil was out getting some groceries and wouldn't be back until 5 at the least, this gave Dan some time of his own.

Dan was sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, the remote to the television in the other. Sublime played quietly in the background as the sunlight seeped through the transparent curtains, when Dan looked at it, it hurt his eyes.

Dan took a glance at the light of the sun but quickly looked away as it pained his eyes. He tried to appreciate the sun when it was up because, no matter how much he grows, he's always going to be afraid of any sort of darkness. He dreaded the time of sun down.

Everybody always wants to go watch the sunset but by then Dan is inside, wanting his thoughts to just leave him the fuck alone. Why won't his brain just stop ticking?

He was alright for a while, until his bad thoughts caught up with him. He wants to tell Phil so bad, it's like when he's about to tell him, no words will come out, but maybe it's best, we all know what happened last time he told Phil his issues, he tried to commit suicide.

So that's what Dan did, he didn't tell Phil how he was feeling, he didn't want to upset him. He will stick to talking about his issues with his therapist.

An hour passed, Dan was done with his beer and hid it in the bottom of the trash can just praying to any god out there that Phil wouldn't find it. About two hours Phil was home again.

"I'm home!" Dan heard from the doorway.

He jumps to his feet and runs to meet his boyfriend at the door, helping him bring the food he had bought inside. "Hey Phil." Dan said, monotone.

"Hey, why so glum?" Phil asked as he stuffed away some eggs into the fridge.

"Huh? Oh, I just um, missed you, that's all." Dan replied.

"Oh well, okay...", he said, unsure.

"I'm going to take a bath, do you need help putting things away before I do?" Dan asked.

"No, you go take your bath. I can smell that ass from here." Phil joked, causing both of them to chuckle, Dan mumbling a 'fuck off' under his breath as we walked away.

Dan walked into their bedroom, grabbing some pjs from the drawer and made his way to the bathroom, drawing a bath. He adjusted the heat setting to as hot as it could go. After it filled, Dan stripped and sat down in it.

The hot water burned his skin but it was satisfying and relaxing.

Dan sat so that his knees were to his chest. He stared at his scabbed up knees. He had previously fallen on the concrete when Phil and him went to the park. He was running and tripped over his foot, causing him to fall and slide on his knees.

They had scabbed over by now and Dan was tempted to pick them, knowing it'd hurt. He didn't feel anything, mentally wise rather. This has been going on for a couple weeks, he hasn't mentioned it to his therapist yet though, to anyone for that matter, as he feels it'll go away soon.

Dan's heart started to race, he wanted to feel something. His body started to go numb, only feeling the hotness of the scolding water and the tingle of his scabs was all he could feel, well that an the need to scratch at his knees.

He placed two slightly shaky hands to his knees and started to frantically scratch and scratch.

It hurt but it was a good hurt, he wasn't putting thought into what he was doing, all he knew was that this, what he was doing, made him feel something and that was all he wanted.

Dan became aware of the blood that started to pour from his knees. His heart was racing faster and he was short of breath. Suddenly, everything went black.

He fainted due to seeing his blood for the first time in a long, long time.

-

Hours later Dan woke up in bed, dressed in the clothes he had previously picked out before his bath. Phil must've dressed him and put him here. He sat up and looked at his knees the best he could, they were covered with band-aids. It was dark and he started to panic. He looked over to see Phil lying beside him and Dan's heart started to slow back to a regular pace. He lied back down and wrapped an arm around Phil, trying not to think so much and fell asleep soon after.