(A/N: Waits for hate mail after everyone reads this, oops. Don't worry, I'd send me hate mail, too).
*DANS POV*
So much in my mind that it hurts and I can't take it. So much I feel guilt for and regret.
Why, why, why?
WHY.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO STUPID?
PHIL HAS FORGIVEN ME FOR EVERY DISGUSTING THING I'VE DONE BUT HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR THIS. NEVER. I'VE GONE TOO FAR AND I DESERVE NOBODY, NOBODY AS AMAZING, ADORABLE, BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, SMART, CREATIVE, NICE, SPECTACULAR, BREATHINGTAKING AS PHIL.
I have messed up everything and without Phil I will have nobody...
Nobody at all.
But I'd rather tell the truth then live a lie and have the love of my life not even know what happened when he was in a coma for six freaking months. I have to tell him, even if it means I loose him forever.
I know I'll loose him forever.
-
I woke up in Phil's arms on the floor where we had sat for hours and hours after my suicide attempt.
I don't deserve Phil's love. I am an awful excuse for a human being.
"Phil...Phil wake up." I said, moving his arm a bit. "Mmphm.." He groaned. "I have to tell you what happened when you were in that coma." I said and Phil shot up, sitting in front of me. "Continue." He said, crossing his arms, bringing his legs up to his chest while I sit with my legs crossed.
"Okay, you have the right to hate me all you want after I tell you this, I totally understand." I started.
Phil looked so worried.
"Okay, uhm... But before I continue, I want you to know that I love you so much. With all my heart and what happened when you were in the hospital means absolutely nothing to me." His eyes widened from the words I spoke. "Just tell me Dan.." He sighed.
"I...I slept with Pj."
YOU ARE READING
Paranoid - PhanFiction
FanfictionDan Howell has terrible night terrors that don't seem to be subsiding, but when his parents send him off to college in hopes that things get better for him, things only sadly, get horribly worse. *This fic is so cringe worthy. It's a huge mess. It...
