Paranoid - PhanFiction

Chapter #40

*DANS POV*

Before I knew it, Phil was out the door before I even realized he had gotten up.

I just sat there, alone, sad and I had the guilt and it hit me as soon as Phil left me.

I understand that he's angry, and probably will be for a long time and I will try to deal with it. But it's hard to know that the love of your life hates your guts.

The rest of the day I sat on the floor with my phone in my hand, listening to music.

Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne started playing.

I stared at the celling as I lied on the floor.

Do you ever get so upset that you can't even cry? Do get so upset that you have no motivation to do anything at all? Feel so alone that it's hard to image yourself being happy again? A life ending guilt in your gut? Because that's how I feel right now.

It was already 6pm and I had been laying on the floor all day, waiting for Phil to return.

I waited and waited.

Soon enough, it was already 8pm.

9pm.

10pm.

11pm.

12am.

Still no sign of Phil.

I was so worried something had happened so I called his cell phone. It went straight to voicemail.

I didn't bother calling again, he needs space.

-

Hours passed and I was starting to get scared.

The real realization of me being alone flooded my mind and I started to shake. A burning feeling in my lungs, and I just felt weak. Phil is never coming back and I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I shook and shook as I slowly made my way to Phil's room and lied on his bed.

I cuddled up to his duvet and it spelled just like him. Tears fell freely from my eyes onto the green and blue covers. Even though the lights were on, the room still seemed to look dark and that just made me shake out of control.

My heart was racing and going too fast so I passed out.

-

I heard a knock at the door so I dragged myself out from Phil's bed and opened the door to be met by a stranger. "Dan?" The person said. "Yes..?" I said, my voice hoarse.

"Phil wanted me to give you this note." They said and walked away. I closed the door slowly and opened the note from Phil.

"I'm moving out, my parents will be here to pick up my things around 5pm. Don't except to see me ever again."

I sighed and tears ran down my cheeks.

Yup. He hates me. All because of a stupid thing I did with a stupid guy.

I wish Pj never came back into my life. None of this would have ever happened. I hate everything.

"AGH! I HATE EVERYTHING!" I screamed and threw the note. I took some glasses from the dishwasher and shattered them on the table and walls. I screamed and cried.

I ran into my room and screamed into my pillow.

"I hate everything, I hate everything." I sobbed. "AAGGH!!" I screamed.

I guess if Phil doesn't love me anymore I have no point.

I'm giving up. I'm giving up on everything.