KarEena the Beginning of a Saga

79.

The KS that HM was now seeing in front of her was a totally different person.

She was weak, timid, fragile, naive, vulnerable, seizable, frightened, anxious, unstable and a lot more.

Lack of self esteem and loads of self Loathing was painted all over her face and her changed demeanour.

This KS did not just show mental and emotional weaknesses rather her body language showed signs of physical weaknesses as well. Shoulders bent, head bowed down, chest pushed in, lips quivering, eyes not wanting to gaze at any specific point..

HM gathers courage to speak up to this new person in front of her.. She places the ice bowl aside.. and slowly and carefully gets closer to KS not wanting to scare her or escalate her anxiety..

HM: Karishma... Kya hua? Humari taraf dekhye...

KS starts sobbing like a child..

HM slowly touches her hand and takes it in her own, holding it tightly..

HM: Kya hua Jaan??? Aapko pata hai na aap humse kuch bhi keh sakti hain.. Hum aapko judge nahi karenge..

KS looks at HM once and then lowers her gaze again, this time crying harder..

HM wanted to hold her but she was not sure whether she should or not..

This was the first time HM saw KS crying...

The incident on the bridge was different where KS had had a breakdown and was howling and crying unknowingly..

But this.. This was different.. They were having a conversation.. and in the middle of the conversation, KS switches to her weakest self and discloses her flaws and fragility knowingly.. This was new for HM.. HM has seen KS angry, happy, confident, jealous, romantic, even horny.. But HM has not seen a weak KS. A KS who probably hates herself..

HM suddenly recalls and is able to relate to what Santosh Sharma was trying to tell her the other day when she had seen KS crying in the gym room but Ss did not have the courage to walk to her and console her.

HM feels the same lack of courage in this moment.. A person who is so strong headed, who is represents power and authority. The entire city is scared of her, criminals did not dare to stand straight in front of her . That person herself is now in such a weak pathetic and petrified condition..

HM: Jaan.. Hum hain na aapke pass.. Aapke saath... Aap keh sakti hain aapne dil ke baat humse.. Aur agar aap kuch nahi bhi kehna chahe to koi bhi baat nahi.. It's ok.. Lekin aise roye mat please.. Aapko aise dekh kar hume bohat taklif ho rahi hai..

KS tries to control her sobs but fails miserably... so she decides to speak between her sobs..

KS: Amma.. Amma ko pata chalega toh... Toh... Wo toh humko hi galat samjhe gin.. Unko toh... yahi lagega na.... ke humara andar hi koi kami hai..

HM: Nahi KS.. Aap aisa q soch rahi hain.. Aap ke andar koi kami nahi hai.. Aur.. Aur Pushpa ji toh bohat samjhdaar aur suljhi hui hain.. Aap unko sahi se aapni baat batayegi to woh zarur samjhengi ...

KS just kept crying and nodding in no..

HM felt that she could understand KS's fear regarding Pushpa Ji.. But actually HM was totally unaware of KS's feelings.. HM had no idea how KS felt or what she thinks or what occupies her mind and consumes her and drains her.. HM being naive tried to help and console KS but mistakenly and unknowingly she puts her finger on KS deepest wound that had been buried for so long.. and the wound just scratches and surfaces itself when HM uttered the following words..

HM: agar aap chahen toh hum khud Pushpa ji se baat karenge. Unhe samjhayege.. Unko sabkuch bataye gen..

KS responds impulsively..