You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 17

The battles over the supplements continued at every meal. Jessica refused to finish a meal and Taylor then presented her with a portion of the supplement to make up her calories. Jessica was distraught every time but Taylor held firm and eventually the girl gave in and did drink them.

Taylor was slightly concerned that she was becoming too reliant on supplements – it seemed she would refuse most of the meal, but then concede and drink the supplement – she didn't know if this was normal or acceptable but it was better than the young girl having nothing and ending up in hospital again.

Over the coming days Taylor settled into a routine, she didn't even battle the young girl over food, she just let her eat (or more often not eat), then handed a supplement with the required amount to make up the calories according to the dieticians plan. Over time Jessica came to just request the supplements instead – stating that it was easier for her to digest. Taylor spoke to the Doctors and dieticians and they confirmed this often happened – that patients physically couldn't stomach food and would favour the supplements. They agreed to let her continue with the supplements until she was at a point where medically she wasn't in any immediate danger then they would once again begin to firmly introduce solid food. Taylor was hesitant but trusted in their experience.

Taylor had been noticing that the plants she had in the house were dying off and going mouldy, she had been googling it and it found it they had too much moisture. Taylor knew she hadn't been over watering them and Jessica swore she wasn't touching them. Taylor didn't understand why she would lie so then she suspected her Mum was coming in and watering them too but Andrea also denied any involvement. Taylor decided monitor them and hold off watering them herself until she figured out what was going on. The next day after lunch, when Jessica once again refused her food Taylor handed her a supplement and told her to head to the living room and pick a movie for them to watch. She quickly finished washing her plate and followed behind, leaving the girl alone for only 15-20 seconds maximum. As she walked in she froze as she watched the girl tipping the supplement directly onto the soil of the plant. She watched as it sunk in quickly to the soil, leaving no evidence then continued to watch as Jessica turned around, quickly checking she hadn't been caught then freezing when she realised she had been.

Both of them froze, staring at each other as the situation sunk in. Taylor suddenly realised the girl had been doing this for at least a week, she suddenly understood why Jessica wanted a supplement at every opportunity – she wasn't drinking them, she as adding them to the different plants around the house, not leaving a trace. If she hadn't been caught it was the perfect plan. Jessica's eyes filled with tears as she knew she had been caught, she began to explain but Taylor held up her hand – silencing her immediately "No, I'm going to do the talking. I am SO disappointed in you right now. I cannot even explain how dissatisfied I am. I trusted you and you once again proved I cannot believe anything you say or do!"

Jessica attempted to protest but Taylor wasn't listening. As the blonde turned around and headed back into the kitchen the teen following closely behind begging for forgiveness "Please, please don't tell the doctor. Please – I promise I'll never do It again. I'll eat properly – just please! You know what they said and I don't want to go into hospital. Please Taylor".

The blonde ignored the pleas at first before she turned around quickly "You need to drink a supplement now or I am taking you to the hospital myself."

She watched as the fear crossed the teen's face – she could see her weighing up the options. Jessica stood there silently, biting on her lip, trying to stop the tears from falling. Taylor waited expectantly but there was no answer "well?"

The teen looked up at her and realised she wasn't going to win this battle, she tried to stop her voice breaking as she responded slowly "ok, I'll try".

Taylor went over to the fridge and pulled out a supplement, she measured it out into the glass and went to hand it to the teen who refused to take it "No! That's too much, that's even more than before". Taylor put it down in front of her "no it's not – it's exactly the right amount. You just don't usually intend to drink it clearly so don't pay much attention." The teen's cheeks burned red as Taylor's words rung true. Jessica made no effort to drink the supplement so Taylor nudged it towards her again, when there was still no movement she picked up her phone and set a timer "You have 15 minutes and I want it all gone. If you don't drink it in that time I am calling Dr Smith. I'm really not playing anymore Jessica – you are killing yourself and I will not let that happen. Your choice, drink that or I will make the call." Jessica picked up the glass, staring with disgust at the liquid inside. She pressed it to her lips and slowly but surely drunk it all, sip by sip. She finished the last drops just as the 15 minute timer went off. Taylor took the glass off her and placed it in the dishwasher, wrapping the girl into a big hug and kissing the top of her head as she returned. She could feel Jessica physically shaking and felt the guilt surge up in her – guilt for forcing her to feel this way, guilt for not noticing she was dumping the supplements sooner, guilt the situation had got this bad. Nothing she seemed to do was working and as they sat there in the kitchen Taylor seriously considered inpatient treatment for the teen. She knew she needed to speak to everyone about it before making a decision either way, but all she knew was that in this moment – she wasn't enough.