You drew stars around my scars

It's not fair

Jessica's behaviour had been sneakier lately. She really knew how to cheat with eating to ensure she was having the least calories possible without anyone around her noticing. She didn't have access to scales – too scared for Taylor to find them, but she could feel that her body was different. She planned to weigh herself in the nurses office at school – but she hadn't had a chance yet. Just noticing her clothes were looser and her body felt lighter was enough motivation for her right now.

As well as restricting her food, the teen had also been working out more – she wanted to ensure she remained strong so Taylor didn't suspect anything.

What the teen hadn't counted on though, was Taylor was beginning to notice the changes too. She had seen how her clothes were sitting differently and so she realised she had to pay more attention to the teen's meals.

Jessica ate her dinner whenever she was there – trying to throw her off but she often purged her breakfast and she never ate her lunch or snacks at school.

Taylor had contacted the treatment team – advising them of the slight deviation off track. They had advised Taylor to do a random weigh in – catching the teen by surprise.

The following morning, Taylor woke Jessica up. She smiled softly at the teen "hey buddy, go and pee then can we chat?"

Jessica rubbed her eyes tiredly but nodded. It wasn't uncommon for Taylor to want to discuss upcoming plans so she wasn't worried. As she headed back into her bedroom, her heart skipped a beat as she saw Taylor sitting there – scales on the floor. The teen stopped in her tracks "no..."

Taylor looked up at her, a sympathetic but firm tone to her voice "yes baby –"

Jessica shook her head "we weigh in once a month on a Monday, it's not time"

Taylor smiled softly "it's a random one – the treatment team requested it..."

Jessica crossed her arms "it's not FAIR"

Taylor shrugged "you knew we could do this. It is what it is"

Jessica narrowed her eyes, ready to protest further but Taylor held her hand up "this is not up for negotiation, step onto the scales please"

Jessica realised there was no way to get out of this – if she protested further, Taylor would know something was up. The best way to get out of this situation was to go along with it and feign ignorance when Taylor asked her. She took a deep breath "can I see it?"

Taylor shook her head, her eyes kind "you know you can't baby...climb on backwards please"

Jessica's legs were shaking as she did it but she stood still, staring straight ahead at the wall. Taylor touched the teen's arm gently "you can get off now buddy"

Jessica tried to figure out the results from Taylor's voice but the blonde gave nothing away. The teen knew she must have lost weight but she didn't know how much. When Taylor didn't talk to her about it – didn't ask her about it, she began to panic – worrying that maybe she hadn't lost weight – maybe she had gained weight. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Suddenly her clothes felt tighter, her skin felt like it was bulging. The panic began to rise up.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Taylor's soothing voice "Time for breakfast..."

Jessica looked at her – fighting to keep the panic off her face "erm, ok..."

As Taylor handed Jessica her cereal and juice, she tapped away on her phone. Jessica took the opportunity to spit out a few bites of food, concealing it in a tissue quickly before shoving it up her sleeve. She felt very smug – knowing these opportunities didn't come around very often.