You drew stars around my scars

How did it end?

Taylor was feeling quietly confident about Jessica's treatment. The teen had been having her meals and supplements consistently and had been attending all her therapy sessions. During the last week, over their phone calls Jessica's mood had seemed quite positive. Taylor and Tree had visited her on the Saturday morning and the teen was chatty and smiling more. Both of them came away remarking about how she seemed to have had a real lift.

What nobody knew was that Jessica's mood was more positive because she had a plan. She had decided that no matter what anyone said to her, she didn't want to live her life like this – she didn't want to be fat and miserable forever – she didn't want to have these voices in her head screaming at her all the time – she didn't want to keep hurting everyone else around her while she was miserable – it seemed inevitable that the only way out of this pain was with death.

It wasn't hard to get access to pills and the blade – there was always girls in treatment centres who didn't want to recover – who had been forced into staying by their families and Jessica spoke to them – gathering supplies. She made sure she had stashed her own antidepressants as well as some other girls anti-anxiety meds plus a fresh blade.

Jessica timed it so they did their nightly check then she swallowed all the pills before slashing away at her wrists – not caring it was visible since she didn't have to actually hide it – it would be obvious when they found her. She felt the meds kicking in, her heart was racing and her body was sweaty. She was beginning to panic – she expected it to be painless and just to slip away – she didn't expect it to be such a horrible feeling. Regret pulsed through her as she realised she would never see anyone again – she didn't really want to die...she just wanted the pain to end. She wanted to feel at peace. But as she felt herself slipping away she realised – this wasn't peace. The last thing she felt was her body shaking, her heart racing and her head was banging. There was pain then her eyes rolled back in her head, and there was just nothing.

The nurses were rushing around – doing other room checks, giving out night time meds and ensuring the girls were safe and settled.

Back in her room, Jessica laid on the bed, unconscious and slowly bleeding out – nobody aware of what was going on in her room. Not until it was too late.