You drew stars around my scars

Chapter 21

The next morning Andrea got up and made coffee for her and Taylor, she watched as her daughter stumbled into the kitchen – her eyes swollen from all the crying she had done in the last couple of days.

Andrea passed Taylor a plate with two slices of buttered toast on, Taylor picked up one of the slices of bread, taking a couple of small bites before pushing it away from her. Andrea noticed and nudged the plate closer to her daughter again – a stern look on her face. Taylor sighed internally and picked up the piece of toast, finishing it off. She quickly drunk her coffee and got up to refill her cup. She turned to face her Mum "They said last night that somebody could take her some supplies up to the hospital but I'm not allowed – if I gather some stuff will you take it in to her?" Andrea nodded "Of course, I'll take in whatever she needs! You just gather it all up and I'll take it in whenever you want". Taylor hugged her mum, grateful for all the support then she sprinted up the stairs to gather some provisions for the teen.

Shortly after Taylor was lugging the bags down the stairs, Andrea rushed over to take them from her "I was thinking Tay, why don't you stay here? You didn't sleep last night so you could nap – or just chill out? I don't think you need to upset yourself by coming – you're just torturing yourself sitting outside but not coming in." Taylor shook her head quickly "I'll be fine Mum – I want to be there just incase". Andrea exhaled, trying to get her point across "you're not allowed in Darling, I think it's harder to be that close but not see her." Taylor rolled her eyes and spoke firmly "I'm coming Mum. I'll be fine". The two women quickly loaded the bags into the car and drove in silence towards the hospital. The closer they got the more anxious Taylor felt, "Mum, do you think that if I maybe just got out and took her stuff in they might let me in? Just for 5 minutes?" Andrea's heart broke at the despair in Taylor's voice, she reached over, squeezing her hand "Darling thy were very clear. You can't see her for 72 hours. You've done over 12 already – it's not going to be that long." Taylor didn't reply – she didn't trust herself so she nodded silently and wipes away a stray tear tracking down her face. As soon as they pull up at the hospital Andrea jumped out, grabbing the bags. She turned around just as she was about to enter the hospital and glanced at Taylor, she saw the blonde sitting in the car – biting her nails and trying not to cry. She took a deep breath and quickly walked into the hospital.

As she approached the ward she smiled kindly at the nurses "Hi, I have some supplies for Jessica – I was told we can drop them off?" The young nurse smiled gratefully "of course, I'll make sure she gets them". Andrea glanced over her shoulder "How has she been? I know she had a rough day yesterday". The nurse hesitated before answering "It's been a difficult morning, she has been very upset again and is asking for Taylor non-stop but it always takes them a while to adjust. I know this first few days are hard without contact but it really is for the best – it stops them being upset every few hours and gives them time to come to terms with being here." Andrea nodded then asked "Did she eat anything this morning?". The nurse checked the chart quickly "It appears that she didn't but don't worry – the doctors will have a plan. We will look after her." Sensing that was the end of the conversation Andrea thanked her and headed back out to the car, deciding how much information to tell Taylor. As soon as she slid back into the passenger seat Taylor turned to her "Did you see her? Is she ok?". Andrea cupped the cheek, comforting the blonde woman "I didn't see her, we knew I wouldn't". Taylor nodded, "Did they say anything about how she is today?" Andrea paused for just a second too long so Taylor pressed her "what? What is it? Is she ok? Has something happened?" the panic was evident in her voice and Andrea replied quickly "She's ok – she's fine. Nothing happened. They just said she's been upset." Taylor chewed her nails – a telltale sign she was anxious. She pulled the car away while thinking out loud "I wonder what she's had to eat today". Andrea didn't respond, knowing she hadn't had anything. Taylor sensed there was more to the story "Mum?".

Andrea sighed "She didn't eat her breakfast today – I think she's struggling to adjust. BUT the nurse promised they had a plan". Taylor took a deep breath trying to quench the panic "She didn't eat dinner last night either! She hasn't eaten since lunch with you! Maybe being there isn't the right thing, at least at home she was trying small portions."

Andrea rubbed her hand lightly over Taylors, trying to reassure her "They won't let her continue to refuse food, they will have a plan – if anything, this proves that she really is in the best place." Taylor's phone ringing cut through the silence in the car, the blonde looked at the caller ID and answered quickly "Hi Tree".

The redhead's voice boomed around the car "Hi Tay, are you home right now?" there was an edge to her voice which made Taylor nervous. "Erm no but I'm heading home now – is everything ok?". Tree hesitated slightly "The paparazzi has a photo of your mum going into hospital this morning – they're speculating it's something to do with you. At the moment they think it's you that's been admitted. What do you want me to say?"

Taylor groaned in frustration and gripped the steering wheel tighter while glancing at her Mum, the fear on her face "Can we just ignore it?" Tree mumbled "I think ignoring will just let the speculation build. I suggest we put out a statement saying the hospital admission is nothing to do with you – that you're at home and well but it is a private family matter and we will not be commenting further". Taylor nodded "Yep that's fine. Keep me updated". Tree confirmed she would then swiftly hung up to deal with the fallout.

Taylor grumbled about the paparazzi the rest of the way home, frustrated that they had to defend their private lives all the time. When they pulled up at Taylor's house Andrea gathered her belongings and headed home – making Taylor promise to call her later to check in.

The young blonde begrudgingly agreed before shepherding her mum back into the car and watching as she pulled away.

The minute her car was out of sight she shut the door and slowly climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She flopped face down onto the bed, all the energy suddenly feeling like it had been sucked out of her. Slowly she felt the tears dripping out of her eyes onto the pillow and soon her silent tears turned into body wracking sobs. She laid there, replaying the last few weeks and especially the last few days over and over as she continued to cry – feeling like the biggest failure in the world.