You drew stars around my scars

You're breaking my heart

Things had been stable with Jessica for a while – she still required a lot of pushing to eat, but usually would give in and eat what Taylor gave her eventually. Taylor was giving her bits of control back – trying to get her used to eating intuitively.

Taylor had been scrolling online and had seen there was a local festival happening in a few weeks time so she decided to go up and ask Jessica if she wanted to go.

The teen was upstairs in her bedroom doing homework and Taylor suspected she would have her headphones in so she didn't bother knocking. As she pushed the door open, the teen was not at her desk like Taylor expected – she was stood in front of her mirror, getting changed out of her workout clothes back into comfy clothes. Taylor's jaw dropped as she saw all of the teens ribs and spine. She was excruciatingly thin. Skeletal. She didn't make a noise – she was frozen as she took in the teen's appearance, realising that once again they were back to the start.

After a few seconds, Jessica turned around – she startled as she saw the blonde stood watching her. Jessica didn't freeze – didn't hesitate. She pulled her top down, stepping towards the blonde "GET OUT!"

Taylor took a step forward, ready to comfort the teen but Jessica put her hands up – defending herself from Taylor coming close "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!"

Taylor knew she should fight against it, force the teen into talking but instead she felt her throat close up, her eyes dripping with tears and she backed away, heading towards her own bedroom.

As soon as her door was shut, Taylor slid down it, crying loudly as the shock wore in. She replayed the image of the teen stood there, deathly thin. Taylor didn't understand it – didn't know how it had happened again. Her heart broke as she realised the turmoil the teen was in. As she continued to cry, the guilt set in – she was in charge here, if Jessica was unwell – that was her fault, right? She thought things were better, that the teen was pushing forward but it seemed like they would actually never get there now. The longer Taylor sat there, the most lost she felt, she didn't know how to move the teen forward. Everything she was doing was clearly wrong but she was trying her hardest so she didn't know what else to give. She was scared and confused, not knowing what was right and what was wrong anymore. She knew recovery was hard – she knew it wasn't linear but this? This was like nothing she knew.

The blonde moved herself to her bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling – replaying everything over and over.

Before she knew it, a couple of hours had passed. She hauled herself up heading downstairs to the kitchen, prepping dinner. As she put the plates on the table she called up to the teen, a few moments later there was no answer so she sighed and headed up the stairs. She knocked on the door but there was no response so she pushed the door open, the teen was curled up on her bed – her back to Taylor. The blonde sat on the edge of her bed "Jessica, sweetheart? It's time for dinner"

Jessica shrugged "not hungry"

Taylor frowned – rubbing the girl's back gently "come on – you have to have dinner. We don't have to talk about what happened right now if you're not ready, but eating is non negotiable"

Jessica shook her head again "I'm not hungry!"

Taylor sighed "Ok you want to do this the hard way? You do not get a choice. You are coming downstairs" she gently but firmly pulled the girl up and marched her downstairs – a strict expression on her face the whole time. As they got closer to the kitchen, Jessica fought against her grip but Taylor was too strong for her, she pushed her gently into a chair and nudged the plate closer to her "you have 30 minutes".

Jessica crossed her arms on the table – laying her head onto them, totally ignoring Taylor or the food. Taylor gave her a few minutes, then shook her shoulder gently "eat"